LivingAlmostLarge's Personal Finance Blog

My uncle was told today that the cancer spread to his chest, back, and lymph nodes.  Not surprising since when we were last there a couple weeks ago he had trouble getting up and moving.  When I saw him I thought to myself he's not going to last much longer.  Well the Dr said chemotherapy might help but unsure.  

My mom really wants to go in and just talk to him in person.  He called her and told her he was afraid.  Afraid of dying yet in pain.  My mom I know is very sad and afraid of being alone.  My dad is slipping away in a different manner.  His bad days outweigh his good.  He is getting more confused. 

My uncle is 74 and fully cognizant.  He understand what is happening.  When my uncle passes I'm sure my aunt whom he's been married to for 53 years will pass soon after.  She also is not well.  And my mom will be alone with my dad.  While my aunt and uncle haven't been physically helping my mom, they have been emotionally there for her these past months just listening and letting her vent or have something to do (cooking and dropping meals for them as she cooks solo).  Unfortunately they both are unable to cook anymore.  They've always been there for her from teaching her about her first checking/savings account.  To offering money so she could get divorced and not work a second job because I needed her.  To hand me down in clothing and baby goods (probably why I was a tomboy!)  

I know that she wants a few moments to sit and chat reminisce and just be.  Unfortunately my dad is not able to do that.  So she can drive by and drop food and go to the door for a minute while my dad sits in the car.  

I thought when I booked my tickets last month that going back a month later wouldn't be worth it.  I wasn't sure but I felt like I hadn't had enough time with my mom.   And now I know I was right.  She has tried a new caregiver, the last one got sick right before I came.  She managed to hire someone today and tried them out.  It didn't go well.  

But I am pushing for her not to stop.  To keep trying to have the person come and maybe my dad will accept and be used too.  The truth is she needs help now.  This is a short term thing.  Caring for the caregiver is sometimes just as important as the patient.  My mom thinks I'm coming to help with my dad.  Truth is that my dad is slowly slipping away unable to recognize even me.  He doesn't recognize the kids or their names.  But she needs us more than he does.

Hugs to all caregivers out there.  Realize that you are appreciated and that there are others hoping to help you.  Take it.

Wow.  I just read the most recent financial samurai post about FS's wife losing her passport.  She said it was full benefit, meaning she learned a lesson and turned it around.  That was good there were benefits to what she did.

But I guess what stood out to me in the whole post and I read Financial Samurai all the time, that she used task rabbit to hire someone to stand in line for her.  Yes she paid someone to stand in line for her $134 actually.

So why am i writing this? I guess because this post made it eminently clear the US for a 1st world country is quickly dividing into the haves and have nots.  Where labor is becoming very cheap and people are working these jobs like uber, door dash, that make other people's lives convienent. 

A friend said that people are working those jobs for second income, probably true.  But when did the US have such a income discrepancy that it makes it so easy to pay others for these types of jobs? I've always toyed with the idea of doing task rabbit. I'm curious if it really is profitable. 

I actually have a fedex driver client who tried uber but told me it wasn't worth his time.  He made too much as a fedex driver and would do better working overtime for them.  Totally true, I do his taxes.  He also said most people don't make very much doing uber, but those "professional" uber drivers (drive a prius, and work set hours) are more like cab drivers and know how to do it profitably. But they've mastered where and how to drive.

So is this the same with task rabbit?  Have we crossed into a more inequitable society where we can afford to pay for stuff because the income discrepancy is so high? I think it has and I've actually thought this for awhile now.

I work for myself now.  It's fun, interesting, and I really like it. I don't think I'll ever go back to working for a company.  It's harder in some ways and easier in others.  I'm fortunate to be married to a person who has a company job that provides benefits.  Would I be doing what I'm doing if I had to buy insurance?  Maybe yes still. I don't know.  But if I had to provide insurance, the question would be why is my husband not working for a company?  The answer being that he started his own consulting firm, then probably yes because if he did we did well enough to manage.  But otherwise he's more the corporate type.

Well thsi is my second year and first really full year working for myself.  Last year I did it but I wasn't sure if I was coming back to it. This time my answer to client is yes, spread the word. I am doing this.  I'm not saying I'll do it forever, but there is a pretty long horizon. I can see myself doing this another 10 years until the kids finish college and then reevaluating.  Maybe even sooner. I could be done by 2030 when my youngest leaves for college.

But in the right here, right now moment I have to look at my business income and expenses.  Currently I've made around ~$35k and I set aside already $22.5k for my 401k for the year.  I haven't contributed yet because I'm not sure if I want to do a Roth 401k or traditional 401k.  I've paid for my software, insurance. But I haven't paid my taxes yet or any other expenses.  I'm debating.  My taxes could be minimal if I do the traditional 401k.  Thus I'd have extra money to spend.  Or I might have to pay the current amount to taxes.  

How to balance spending and saving?  It's a question constantly posed on this board.  Right now I feel like I've basically worked to fund retirement, taxes, and I've contributed nothing to the household maintenance or fun spending.  But i'm unsure how much more I'm making this year.

Do I pay more bills with the remainder or send it to taxes later?

So I guess I'm sort of becoming one of those points people.  I had to unfortunately cancel our WDW at the end of august but DH said he still wanted to do something.  Why?  Because he wanted to relax and he had been looking forward to something.  So I had to come up with something that seemed fun but not as strenous.

So interestingly I found a us tickets to singapore. I managed to use miles on Alaska to fly to singpore for me and the two kids at 47.5k miles each.  Then on the return I managed to use 58k miles on united for us to fly back.  The fees for all of this was $216.50.  We have layovers going through LAX and returning through SFO.  I paid $50 each = $150 for us to choose our seats going.  DH I bought his tickets same flights with seat selection for $1649.65 for a grand total of $2060 for 4 round trip tickets.  Then we are going for 4 days and three nights to Krabi, Thailand.  Roundtrip those tickets with seats for 4 were $544.74.  Our flights total was $2605.54.  

I tentatively have booked a hotel for one night before we leave, 3 nights in Krabi, and I'm waiting for a few more miles to seal the hotel we want in singapore for points mostly.  The krabi was $2318 for 3 nights, i'm not sure if we should spend that much.  It's a lot because we needed 2 rooms.  In asia it's very common to not be able to fit a family of 4 in 1 room. So you typically need to book two rooms.  The beds and rooms are small.  There are other cheaper hotels so I haven't decided yet if we are keeping this "resort" style hotel or downgrading.  I also booked our last night in Singapore somewhere fancy and that was $844.59.  That I think we are keeping.  That indulgence had been suggested to us and I really do want to stay there. 

So for hotels so far $3163.57 plus the points for the other 5 nights and $400 cash at a marriott.  What's left?  I was looking at GoCitycards, about $1000 USD for activities, $320 for upgraded singapore universal passes (only me and the kids).  DH will likely just walk around and not ride anything.  Amusement parks in Asia are different and very interesting.  The food is really fun and cool and so different.  Typically the parks are busy but not crazy like the US, probably because it's not a "thing" in asia.  But we like to see their take on amusement parks.

Then food in singapore and thailand? I plan on a couple of michelin restaurants but they are going to be the food stalls. I am not sure I feel like eating at a super fancy or expensive michelin place with the kids.  And typically in Asia we tend to just stop and eat whatever looks interesting.  And food is usually so good and so cheap.  

My goal had been under $5k.  If I cancel the krabi hotel and go to a really cheap hotel (I am out of points) I think we could do it.  But I'm not sure I want to do that.  I spent more than i was expecting on flights around $2500.  When I started pricing it out I thought I could do it for $1000. But DH flights and paying for seat selections ended up more than I thought.

But we'll see.  I'm sure people are curious how much bang for the buck I can get.  Personally I got a lot of bang I feel from my miles for 3 of our tickets.  And our hotel points I also got a lot of bang for the buck so far.

So I haven't posted in two months I realized looking. I also haven't been online much.  April was busy and I ended the month visiting my parents for the first weekend of May.  I got back on the 8th and then everything in the month went off the rails.

My DH got into a scooter accident which they called a motorcycle accident.  I was calling him around 6 pm one night to confirm he was picking up our second child.  Some random person answered (note if you keep calling like 6 times in a row anyone holding the phone can swipe and answer), and said "your husband was in an accident". I was like WTF.  Where are you? I immediately went to my location finder and couldn't see his dot.  But he was about a mile from home and when I got there he was on a stretcher, on a board, with a neck brace, unconscious being loaded into the ambulance.  Yes the cops let you through when you say that's your husband.

It took a long time in the ER with everything and he had a lot of injuries.  The EMTs, Dr, Cops, all told me he was seriously lucky to be wearing a helmet it saved his life.  He had a concussion, orbital bone fracture, cut on his head, broken ribs, internal bleeding (which did end up stopping without surgery fortunately), and tons of scrapes, cuts, and scratches.  Luckily he was wearing jeans and jacket although everything was torn up, cut off, and he had gone over the scooter and off and was unconscious when a random person found him and called 911.  No there were no cameras and the cops do think it was a hit and run.

He and I were very fortunate and thankful of everything.   He's recovering slowly and things have been crazy caring fo him, the kids, the dog.  I am very lucky my BIL flew in the next day to help me with the kids for the weekend and I had a lot of friend carpooling the kids.  

Though he's supposed to be not working my DH of course is already back at work.  He can't help himself. The Dr said to take off at least three weeks and it's been only 3 weeks.  Did he go back part time?  Nope.  I mean of course the neurologist said I guess asking you to work 20-25 hours is ridiculous when my DH admitted to working 80-90 hours on average before.

Personally I had a lot of my own work slide and just trying to be on top of paying bills and shopping and cooking and driving and everything has gotten away from me.  We ate out and had delivery for about 2 weeks. I returned the scooter within days of the accident i was so pissed.  My DH holds this against me but I couldn't help myself.

Honestly I'm just hoping to right my ship and get back on track with everything.  I cancelled our trip this summer to WDW.  Yeah he'll be healed but really he shouldn't be going on rides with a concussion healing still.  No idea how long it'll take.  He's been exahusted and sleeps immediately after dinner.  And I can tell it's taking a lot out of him to do anything.  

So here's hoping June is better. I am barely hanging on to remembering everything for the kids, him, and me.  I also got our dog neutered two weeks ago as well.  Usually it'd be harder but since our dog needed to be crated and not walked his usual 5 miles it's been really helpful to give me extra time.

And I finally got on with insurance and figured out we should be paying a max OOP of $1500.  Well guess this year we are really using our insurance.  We also turns out were fortunate we didn't get on a HDHP.

Eating out is getting really, really expensive.  Before COVID I know we ate out a lot.  Probably mostly takeout and fast food being busy.  But I can say with a certainty we were eating out 6-7 times a week.  We typically ate out Friday nights, Saturday/Sunday Lunches, and then maybe Saturday dinner, then 1-2 dinner during the week.  This was not occassionally but with regularity.

Then Covid hit and we like everyone else went to zero/cold turkey.  It was like a special diet.  Not only did I not get to eat out but I also had to cook.   Of course I found my groove again and began cooking from scratch.  During the time pre-covid I pseudo cooked. I heated pre-made costo or trader joe's meals.  Something easy and fast and cheaper than takeout.  But definitely not from scratch.

But with covid, being home, going nowhere?  Cooking from scratch became more of a hobby.  Something to do out when I had so much time.  It also made eating at home more fun.  We were going months without eating out.  Definitely not eating in restaurants, maybe occasional pizza.  Then Covid began easing and we've been getting busier.  I'd say we definitely were going to start eating out more last year but then I noticed probably middle of last year that food prices were getting really expensive.  Some food places raised prices faster than others.

But really I would say in the last 6 months it's really hit home. I don't know why but I guess since school started I consciously have not eaten out.  We aren't afraid of covid, and our income hasn't changed but our perspective has.  Now I see my $100 eating out bill and think "geez i can do better."   And sometimes I can.  

Eating out is definitely a treat and something we savor more.  As a family we savor it and really think about what we want and what is a bit harder for me to make.  Covid brought back my cooking and DH's cooking skills.  Unfortunately i'm in a rut again making the same things over and over.  But the number of recipes has broaden.  My kids would agree.  

DH and I when we met agreed we should cook.  So he came up with this idea of 10 easy meals that we would learn to do fast and leave always on tap.  We did that, mastered it, and always cooked.  We brown bagged our lunches easily over 15 years together even with kids.  We always made a concerted effort to make lunches during the week.  But before covid we were "boring".  We ate a lot of the same meals over and over.

But now with food prices rising, I noticed I also cook a lot of the same things because I am shopping what's on sale and that sort of drives the menu.  Ground beef on sale?  Burgers, shepards pie, meatloaf, salisbury steak, indian curry, loco moco, bolognese.    Chicken is curries, fried, breaded, baked.  So it really depends on what is on.

But eating out?  Well we ate out tonight and it was okay.  Convienent and super close to home.  But maybe a 7 out of 10.  We went out to eat on Saturday since we went to see a movie, quick burgers by the theater.  That was better than tonight.  This weekend?  Right now no plans since we ate out this week and were invited over for Easter brunch to someone's house. Let's see if we can make it through the weekend.

I will admit I do buy still some costco instant fast meals like ravioli.  It really has been saving me recently with not cooking and being extra busy.  I bought costco lasagna and might make that this weekend.  

Have you cut back on eating out?  Prices?  Habit?  Not enjoying it?  What changed?  For us it really is noticing the prices.

So yes it personally did affect our life and we got to see SVB up close and very personal.

We were very fortunate to get paid on Wednesday March 8th.  My DH's payroll is through rippling and they took the money out March 7th to pay his company.  So they had around $10m at SVB.  They also fortunately had a super smart accountant who put the rest of their money into treasuries.   So they used to be chase private clients but they found it hard when starting out because Chase saw a $6M deposit and held it for 90 days.  So how were they supposed to be paying payroll, bills, rent, etc when money given to them by VC wasn't liquid and the "bank" didn't want to release the funds?  It wasn't happening.  So a VC partner said "hey got to SVB, they understand start ups. They understand how money in millions comes in, they'll let run your start up and use your money."

So they moved a portion of their money to SVB and the rest the accountant suggested treasuries.  $10m was 25% of their money and about 8-12 months of burn.  That seemed very reasonable and it seemed secure.  I mean it was  in a savings/checking account earning pretty much NOTHING.  The CEO wasn't about to risk his company and he thought he was nervous about losing money and not making payroll. So solid "checking/savings" account and investment in "treasuries separate".  Good plan.

But then the week of March 6th the CEO, and yes this is first hand, my DH called me and we were away for the March 10th weekend and the CEO called us and as was trying to figure out how to access his treasury securities just in case.  He was told by the same VC investor (and probably others), that SVB was in precarious shape and he should get his money out.  He tried.  He put in 4 separate wire transfers trying to get his money out.  He got out around $2.5M of the $10M and justifiably was freaking out.

The $2.5M he told us was around 2-3 months of burn so we were fine.  The company could meet obligations and have time to cash in their treasuries and still be okay.  Yes they had lost about $7-8 million dollars but it wasn't the end of the world.  I mean it sucked royally that they had "lost" their investment through no fault of their own except believing money in a bank checking/savings account should be safe.  

So yeah I'm pissed.  I do think that the federal government should FORCE the SVB excecutives to give back their bonuses and salaries for 5 years and attempt to cover ALL depositors their deposits.  The company my DH started with 7 other guys in 2021.  I type on here, we're normal people.  We aren't multi-millionaires playing.  He sunk in his time and took a huge risk, and we truly believed that his company's money was safe and they thought they were doing the "right' thing.  They are growing the business to 60 people now in 2 years.  Isn't that what it's supposed to be be?  A small business growth?  That they will likely be revenue positive soon and have been growing like crazy.

They did everything right but you don't want to "bail out" these depositor who just thought that putting money in a checking/savings account would be safe?  Then why even put money in banks?  How do you want small businesses to run?  How do you expect people to start companies and be innovative without some sort of belief that the BANKS are inherently safe?

Where do you want them to put their $10m?  Where?  How should they have it to pay my husband and his employees?  How should they keep it liquid?  Does this mean that small businesses shouldn't be allowed to start or grow?  What if it were $1m and that covered the business for 1 year burn?  It should be in 4 banks to cover it by FDIC?

Or should there be some sort of faith/justification that putting it in a bank means it's safe?  What about people?  Guess this means if you have more than $250k personally you should not be leaving it anywhere near a bank.

That's the problem SVB is going to teach us.  That banks aren't to be trusted.  Well maybe really big banks only.  It's just a difficult thing to  wrap your head around.  That banks suck.  That putting your money into a bank and not "investing" it but seriously just putting it into a checking/savings account = risk seems nuts.  But is this the new norm?

Well I got to see how they raised our property taxes. I flipped out last summer when the assessed value of our home went up 75% in one year.  I had a conniption.  DH said someone posted on our Facebook Be Neighborly group from the city council and he said we would have no raise in property taxes.  Everyone's assessement was increased and this would mean we all have the same share of taxes so it wouldn't change.  Well that was a blatent lie.  Either way I am just annoyed at it.  It went from $11k to about $15k a year.  That is a hefty chunk of change.

We also decided to push back macchu picchu until summer 2024.  That meant we had no real plans for the summer.  So I began to think about what to do.  DH wanted to minimize his vacation days (he'll have used 1 by august, but he gets 15 a year), and gets a 4 day weekend labor day so 4 days going somewhere the last week of August.  I figured no more than a 6 hour flight.  That put us on the east coast at most.  So I picked florida and WDW.  I read that a lot of schools are back in session, the season is getting lower and while it's hot, it's not any worse than any other time in summer except it supposed to be less crowded.  We'll see what happens.  DH is fine with a 4 day vacation and the kids want to go but didn't want to miss school which was the option was to pull them out october again.

The only things now are deciding how visiting my parents for summer and christmas will play out.

On the post your wins thread it was a nice post by amastewa93 about how far she's come in 6 years!  I'm really impressed.  So I thought a lot as well and it's amazing how fast things can change on a dime.

I'm the mom of a teenager as of last month (DK1 turned 13!!!).  When I started blogging and I on this site I had no children.  I had been with my DH about 6 years and we were married a couple of years.  Those first few years were very, very lean.  We leaned on 0% CC, student loans, car loans, etc to make everything happen.  We rarely ate out or traveled.  I will also say the first few years  of having kids and going to one income it was super tight as well.  We were still paying off the 0% CC which was used to help buy us time to pay our student loans.  

But a decade has past and it's weird how comfortable we are.  Rich?  I guess by many standards but I don't feel it.  I don't feel that different than the young 20 something struggling to make ends meet.  But 20 years later I am.  My body is more tired and older.  The credit card now is paid in full and I don't blink at whipping it out. Instead of whipping out the calculator and figuring if I could afford something, now I pay for it and don't worry knowing we have buffer. 

I would use a calculator at a grocery store to stay on track.  We ate a lot of the same foods over and over.  When we met our "date" nights quickly devolved into a 3 item combo from Ranch 99 shared and a movie once a week.  I don't even know if DH remembers the fact we were so thrilled to not cook and eat leftovers once a week and a $5 - 3 item combo was a splurge.  $5 for a meal out was indulgent and to be shared.  We rarely drank because it wasn't in the budget.  Soda was bought only in 2L bottles and we recycled everything for extra money.  We dumpster dived everything and everything was second hand including our grill and smoker and dog.  

When we got our first dog we had no money and thankfully he was young and healthy.  By the time he needed care we were in a different position financially but in 2002 we were broke and living on a shoe string.  We used student loans to help sort our budget after all it was subsidized and free money.  We calculated DH would get a job in 6 months after graduating and we'd be able to pay it all back.  It didn't happen when he first graduated, we needed 0% CC for a few years rolling from one to another.  But by the time DK1 came along in 1/2010, in 6/2010 we paid off all our student loans and 0% CC.  It only took us 5 years after he finished his phd but he also went back and got an MBA and sunk us more into debt during those 5 years.

Our kids know we're frugal and they can tell I still struggle with spending.  I'm still careful.  My mom says "we never bought anything without a red sale tag or secondhand."  I grew up very, very poor.   And now it's ridiculous.  My kids still look at sale tags because I don't know how else to shop and goodwill/marketplace is still our friend.

But now I really can buy anything I want. I can walk into a store and not whip out the calculator. I can buy what I want to eat because I feel like it.  I can go out to eat because we want to.  It's a weird feeling sometimes.  The life I lead now is one I definitely aspired too.  My mom again always said "i want to walk into a store one day and not look at the price tag."  And she totally does now.  She doesn't care.  Everything is affordable.  Now the shirt doesn't have to be on sale or secondhand.  She also grocery shops and buys what she wants to eat instead of what's on sale.  She doesn't have the envelope of cash and calculator (my entire family used to do this).  My uncle said he'd stand in grocery store and calculate down to the last 10 cents what they could afford for groceries for the week and what they'd put back.  And now he has so much money coming in he can't spend it fast enough.  

Did you ever think you'd get here?  Did you ever think you'd live a life you dream about?  I joke now about what I would do if I won the lotto.  I'd hire a cook and a driver asap.  But life is pretty good and I'm grateful that I'm another year older and here to spend it with my family.

I just peeked and saw the last time I posted was beginning of November.  A lot has happened since then and I haven't been online much.  I've been exhausted with everything.

I went to see my parents over Veteran's day weekend.  My mom asked and I obliged.  Thankfully I went home because my dad ended up in the ER that Sunday before I left from being impacted and in terrible pain. I managed to carry him into a wheelchair and into the car and to the ER.  My mom couldn't have done it and they were in no way ready to have my dad be immobile.  That weekend I managed to get a wheelchair ramp ordered, hospital bed, and internet installed.  Fortunately my kids were off Friday for veterans day and they were all sick so they all stayed home and skipped all activities.  I ended up staying to wednesday but my DH was desperate for me to come back, he was struggling with work and the kids.  I depended on others to help me which is not how I usually do things.

Things have been a bit difficult since.  I've pushed my mom to hire help and she has someone occasionally.  She's exhausted and unwilling to consider someone to help at night.  But we returned again this past weekend and I'm watching my dad all day as my mom went to the dr.  He is pretty wheelchair bound and bedridden. And this past weekend before i got here Monday, again went to the hospital for the same thing.  

We are staying through the new year.  When I bought the tickets this summer I hemmed and hawed over the costs. If I returned before new years the ticket prices were substantially cheaper.  But with the way the new year's fall it is ridiculously expensive until about the 1/4 and the kids and DH go back to work and school.  So DH and DK1 are going back on 1/1 and DK2 and I are staying until 1/5.   I am glad we're staying.  Yes it's expensive but I told my friends i'm in the endgame.

I bought my tickets back for february without DH and the kids.  They'll be off for a few days and DH can work from home and not worry about school or activities.  The truth is that no matter what I pay now for tickets home or buying stuff this is short term.  I am doubtful my dad will be here next holidays but I'd love to be wrong.  

People hate suzy orman but she always tells called "people first then money."  I always agreed but until now I never really lived or felt it.  Now I feel like yes I need to be prudent, but at the same time I have spent my life being prudent. I have spent my life being frugal and watching every penny.  But now I need to stop saving at the rate I've always saved at and spend it so that I can enjoy and help my parents at this end stage. It's not forever and it's not something that is a continually money drain.  This is short term and something that will end.

I am grateful about our ability to cover these expenses.  But I've really come a long way to realizing that money isn't everything.  Saving and planning isn't everything. That sometimes goals fall the wayside and life happens because you can't control everything. I'm a planner, saver, and overal meticulous record keeper. I'm also naturally frugal.  But in the position i'm in I can't do it all.  And something has to give.  To me it's money.  I'll make more and if we have to work 2 months more then so be it.

Today is a day of Joy and I have been blessed.  About a year ago my DH underwent genetic testing and was confirmed to have a specific mutation that he inherited from his mom, which lead to his retinitis pigmentosa.  This mutution is inherited in an autosomal dominant manner meaning that any child we had would have a 50% chance of inheriting it and having RP.  

When we had children 13+ years ago we had no idea what the mutation was and there was no way of knowing.  Testing was not advanced enough to genetically screen and find the mutation.  Fast forward to now and due to advances they knew where to look and last Christmas his diagnosis was confirmed.  He had been told since around age 12 when the dr was able to observe the RP phenotype.  

The fact we were told 13 years ago we would know around now, meant we've been waiting on pins and needles.  We've been waiting to see if any dr would be able to look into our kids eyes and tell us if they had it.  I know my DH has been worried, especially as he has aged and things have become more difficult for him.  The greatest fear and worry for a parent is the healthy and well being of your children.  

So a few months ago we were approved that insurance would test our kids for the mutuation.  We actually had been ready to pay out of pocket but the eye dr suggested we try insurance and she turned in the paperwork.  

It turns out both our kids are negative for the mutation.  They each had independently a 50/50 chance of having the mutation and being positive for RP.  So for DH to have two children not inheriting the mutation is amazing.  I had tears of joy when the dr called me.  

What a wonderful day.

I swear I'm going crazy with how fast prices of groceries are going up.  I swear my CC bill, which I pay off every month is getting higher.  We really are making a super big conscious decision to eat out once week and cut back on take out.  So I've been cooking very consciously every meal even on weekends. 

But perspective for eating out this weekend Sunday dinner it was $160 for chinese takeout for 6.  That meals should not have been that much and we had some leftovers enough for 2 lunches (DH and I each).  The weekend before we paid $150 for brunch at a restaurant for the 4 of us.   We had 4 meals, each averaging around $21-23, 2 alcoholic and 2 non-alcoholic drinks, 6 deviled eggs appetizer (around $15) and that's it.  $150 for 4 of us tax and tip.  That was our meal out. Monday halloween I bought a papa murphy's cook yourself XL pepperoni sausage pizza thin crust 16" was $10 plus breadsticks $6.99 and it cost $18.17 for it and I ordered online and picked up from a cart without a tip.  That was one meal and we had no leftovers for the 4 of us and the kids were a bit hungry after trick or treating.

So the expense of eating out is out of control.  And that's what has lead to cooking all the time.  But groceries I can't get over how much I'm spending.  I can tell when I can't walk out of costco for less than $200.  Then adding on other stores makes it ridiculous. I pay $12 for 2 gallons of lactose free milk from costco.  Eggs at walmart are $9 for 60 and the cheapest.  Chickenthighs are $3/lb for blsl thighs and they still had bones and tons of fat.  And the fresh veggies?  Or my family loves mushrooms and it's $6+ a pound.  And they eat a lot of veggies each meal.  Brussell sprouts tonight are $3/lb and I bought a 2 lb bag.  Last night it was a bag of Bok Choy that was $8 at $3.99/lb for 2 pounds.  Add in the fresh fruits and I'm making the kids lunches everyday (it was free last year and I refused to make lunches).  They hate school lunches both of them, but occasionally when things are nuts in the morning they have to suffer with school lunches.  They pay $4.25 a school lunch and my DK say it's not enough food!  This I hear from other parents as well.  

I will admit we don't have to eat what we eat and I probably should scale back on what I buy.  But I feel like we already are not eating out so scaling back on groceries seems harder than not eating out.  I'm trying to be very conscientious and not waste any food and usually we are very good at this.  I repurpose all rice into fried rice, i make broth from chicken and beef bones and use that to make congee.  I make a lot of stuff from scratch including I've been making sourdough bread again.  

But the prices of food just seems to rise.  I can't get myself to garden I hate it.  I probably need to start though even in pots.  Have you noticed the food prices?

When you don't work outside the home it can be tough.  I say that because I've been there, done that.  It's a really tough thing.   How so?  The lack of respect and validation and feeling of self-worth can be hard to maintain.  I write this for two reasons. 

One a friend talked to me about how she felt being "only" a mom.  She had done her phd as well in biology and now she was "only a mom."  She feels like she needs to work to find herself outside of the kids.  I told her I totally get it.  That it's really hard to go from an important "job" to not having a job.  It's really hard still for me to be in a group of people and not work full time and have a "career".  I have a "job".  I like what I do.  But I still feel embarrassed at times.  I told her I do still feel judged.  I have definitely felt lesser at the company holiday party when people say "what do you do?"  And I hear "why don't you work?"  The answer now interestingly even though I started my own business is "I take care of my kids." 

I usually get a gasp and silence but i decided after I started my own business I no longer needed validation from anyone. I only needed my own self worth.  Maybe it was after 40 I give a rat's behind about anything. I now say random stuff like I could care less what my kids do as long as they are happy and productive.  I pulled them out of gifted programs because they weren't happy.  We turned down a choice school opportunity because I thought my kid would struggle making friends. 

Yes I say all those things now and I sometimes I mention working but often I say I don't work and I'm free.  It's still a bit weird that I don't use my phd, but at the same time it took a long time to figuer out I hated it.  I told my friend I achieved pretty much everything a parent could want.  Excellent test scores, grades, extracurriculars, and acceptance into every school I applied to. I got into every top program both in undergraduate and graduate school.  My resume read like someone who did everything right and yet I detoured and found my zen with my kids, new job, and life.  

But then again I am married to guy who also quit his 1st career and found his zen.  His resume also reads "accomplished everything parents want" then quit job, moved, changed careers and let wife not work and raise kids.  If we lived the way everyone else expected us to we'd be a "high power couple" climbing the ladder.  But instead we meander our way on 1 income, driving crappy cars, and working at jobs that are fufilling.  Maybe it's my husband's acceptance.

The second reason I wrote this?  This weekend he was trying to recruit someone to work for him.  The guy asked "how do you do it?  how do you have a family and do a start-up?"  DH "my wife does everything."  And the accceptance of it works.  At the same time we both committed to this short term insanity knowing that it was his dream to start a company (yes when I met him he wanted to do this no lie).  He wanted to make a mark and build his own company and he passed on one about 15 years ago and regretted it.  This time I said he had to do it, and we knew it was not going to be easy.  And now at the startup?  When anyone asks I just say I stay at home.  I am definitely not embarrassed because we wouldn't be doing this if he was pulling his weight at home.  I know my worth and contribution right now.

Maybe it's age.  But truth it is still really hard to be "non-working" spouse.  To be the partner who takes the step back and follows and supports.  But at the same time you have to look at yourself and say it's enough. That you know what you are truly worth and give yourself a pat on the back.  It's okay to be happy with a "lesser" role.  So to all my friends struggling with finding their place and being okay with it.  

You have value.  You are amazing and can do anything you want.  A career doesn't define it.  It's just money or a job.  The title means nothing.  Who you are is defined by whatever you want it to be.   And it's not "less". What you do is work.  And you do not have to work outside the home to have a job. (wish someone had told me that at 30!)

Disneysteve asked this on the forum boards and I said yes.  But it's a bit of a layered question.  There are a lot of things that have changed.  Covid forced at least us to stay at home and be less busy, which was nice, but also forced us to cook a lot more.  Restaurants weren't open and even if they were, we weren't interested in leaving the house.

Over the past 2.5 years i will admit that we used to eat out, well do mostly takeout, 5-6x/week pre-covid.  We might sit down 1x/week pre-covid.  But eating out was a lot cheaper.  We could do it for $150-200/week for that many meals out.  The kids were smaller and we could share meals, the portions were larger, there was less service fees, etc.  But being less busy, less activities meant we also just had more time to cook and enjoy our meals at home.

Then it seems like life has been getting back to more normal.  The pace of life is much faster and there are more things going on.  So it would be so easy to slip back into at least picking up take out during the week like I used to.  2-3x/week I'd grab takeout.

But now I don't.  It's the expense.  It's shocking how expensive a meal from Chick-fil-A is now for our family of four.  Or burgers from a local place. It's insane how a pizza at a fancy place is $35 for large or even 2 pizzas from Papa Johns is $25.  A takeout from our local thai place for 3 dishes cost me $57 and the portions were enough for the 4 of us for 1 meal.  We had no leftovers.  So eating out 5-6x/week now there is no way to do it for $200/week. 

Even cooking every meal $200/week isn't a lot of money for the four of us from the grocery store.  The price of meat, veggies, fruit, milk has gone up a lot. I understand it's likely due to the fact that we have had long term inflation.  But I don't think I'm alone in looking at my DH's paycheck and thinking we did not get a 10% raise, our investments are down, and our medical/vision/dental/auto/home insurance premiums are up as well as a lot higher property taxes.

So our real purchasing power took a severe hit.  We already took a massive paycut with DH's job switch and I don't know how long this will go on for.  But to compensate we've really tightened up on eating and groceries.  This seems the new normal how expensive everything is.

Yesterday Barry Sharpless won his second nobel prize.  He is the 5th person ever and only living person to have 2 nobel prizes.  DH was working with Barry when he won his 1st nobel prize in 2001.  It was a privilege to meet, chat, and learn from him.  DH called him a genius and he really was.  I remember being 22 and impressed with his house and the guy himself when I met him.  He drove a Honda Civic hatchback because he didn't care what he drove.  But flew always with 2 seats in first class so he could have space for his papers to read and work on planes.

I remember him talking to a bunch of us young students, hanging yes on his every word, telling us not to give up.  That we needed to find our passion.  That you should love what you do because it will lead to success.  That wanting to go to work would lead to money.  Money he said doesn't do anything but buy you the opportunity to find happiness.  He said when he just wanted to explore where science lead him.

His energy and work ethic because of his passion were amazing.  And we never forget the lesson of being excited about work.  When you stop being excited he said it shows and that's when it's time to move on and figure out what does excite you. 

I get people working hard to FIRE and find their passion.  But not all of us can easily retire super cheap and save tons of money early on.  Instead some of us have to suck it up and work awhile.  But we always remembered that if we weren't excited we should move on.  Because the passion for work showed and it helped us stand out and succeed at our jobs rather than just sliding by and meandering.

It also was enlightening to see someone working very obviously NOT for money (he's a multimillionaire several times over and was by the time we met him).  But because he loves what he does.  His recent interview he was asked what is it like to know that he helped change the world by creating 2 new chemical reactions both increadibly important and revelotionary to drug discovery.  Without these reactions we would not be where we are today in modern medicine.  His answer "it's why he works because he wants to give back to society and loves what he does. He never imagined it would have this sort of impact."  

As for us?  I'm still not sure I want to be working at 81.  But if I still love what I do then I guess I will.  I am reminding DH now that with his startup if he loves what he does great.  But after this I think he's FI, will he RE? I don't know.  He's so passionate about what he does he says he can't imagine quitting.  Guess following our passion has been lucrative and nice.

I just bought my DK1 a Yamaha 362H flute.  It was about $1700 on Amazon but I decided to check facebook marketplace before buying it.  There were two options.  One was unused for $1300 with receipt.  They had bought it and then covid hit and their child had never used it.

The other was $750 but just been cleaned by the shop and looked nice in the photos. I decided if I'm going used I'm going all the way so I bought the $750.  I have an appointment on Friday with a repair store to do another full tune up for $90.  If it needs a total overhaul it will be $200, but that still is a good deal I think.  I'm pretty happy for 5 minutes of work online and 30 minutes to drive and meet and pay the guy I saved $1000.

I usually buy stuff new/sale/used depending on how hard it is to find.  But the most luck for me is usually facebook marketplace.  Where do you look mostly?

We got a dog on Saturday.  Less than a than a week ago.   I put a short post on the forum but I'll go into detail here what happened.  

He is an awesome 3/4 poodle 1/4 golden retriever mix from a breeder.  He is 16 weeks old and we call him Parker.  He is super cute.  I found him on FB adopting doodle/poodles rescue group.  Well LAL how did you get a rescue dog?  Well Friday 8/25 a post was put up on a puppy needing to be rehomed.  He family was unable to take care of him so they were looking to rehome him and the group was taking applications. 

So I said ME! And then I applied and was picked, we zoomed to confirmed it was real and not catfished or anything.  Then we drove saturday and picked him up.  The kids were so excited and we were so excited. It was $700 donation to the group and we got ourselves a 4 month old PUPPY.  

Background about where we got him and what happened!  You will absolutely be amazed.  He was adopted by a single mom influencer with a 2 year old child.  She thought it would be a great idea to get a puppy and raise with her son and I bet probably put on her website and be part of her "brand".   But she didn't realize how much work having a dog would be.  So she put him up for adoption about 8 week after she got him.

She adopted him from a breeder 4th of July.  She took him home and worked on crate training and house breaking him.  But she never had time to brush him (turns out he hadn't been brushed and was startled when we tried).  She told us in 8 weeks she had never walked him outside.  She couldn't find his leash when we went to get him.  She hadn't made a groomer appointment, and had been once to the vet but hadn't followed up with the fecal sample or appointment to neuter him.  This made her aware she just didn't have time for a dog.  For anyone whose had or has a dog they know this is really sad.

But we are eternally grateful she was willing to turn him in and just wanted him placed in a good home and gone asap.  So now less than week leter he's a great pup and we are so so lucky!  Look at how cute he is!  We got another secondhand dog!  And I feel better since I didn't end up with buying from a breeder again.  My DH was really concerned about adopting again with our last dog and his health problems.  And aren't too sure about sizing but whatever.  

Thank you covid for all these great dogs being put for adoption.  My pearl of wisdom is if you are looking for a dog now or soon, go look on FB at all these rescue/rehoming groups because there are a lot of high quality adoptable dogs being put up by families unable to take care of them for many, many reason.

We've been pretty good about covid these past 2.5 years.  I think we are done for knock on wood.  About to leave for a trip and I'm pretty sure that my DK1 got covid from a friend.  We tested daily for the past 8 days and no symptoms for her.   But I woke up feeling tired.  I don't know if it's stress or prelude to covid.  My guess is she was positive earlier in the week and asymptomatic but vaccines worked and she didn't have high enough levels to detect it.  I have no idea.  I tested again today and we were all negative.  The naat thursday said negative.  But I just feel tired but could be stress over all of this.

Looks like the market rebounded slightly. I have nothing to report other than I am looking forward to a week away.  I hope to just chill.

I went to the dentist on Thursday my 3x/year cleaning.  I have very weak teeth and I'm a grinder.  Anyway I've worn nightguards since high school and I've broken multiple ones.  The currently I have an NTI and a regular traditional nightguard.  I can tell the difference wearing the NTI style nightguard.  Anyway my jaw joint if you can imagine is worn to nothing because of my clenching and grinding. I also probably this year started having some pain in my jaw area.

So much so that you recall I thought my TMJ was killing me but it was an abcess tooth?  That ended up with a root canal and a crown.  So when I was there for that and my other cleaning my dentist and I discuss potentially using botox in my jaw to relax my super tense muscles.

She doesn't do it herself but my other neighbor also a dentist does.  So she fit me in and gave me a deal of $10/unit and gave me 30 units of botox on each side of my jaw muscle.  I tried calling to the university nearby for their pain management unit so perhaps it would be covered by insurance.  But I couldn't get an appointment.  So I decided what the heck? 

I'll try it and if it works I'll really try to get in with the pain management company.  Also I submitted it to my insurance and I figure worse case scenario is it's rejected, well I already paid 100% out of pocket it was worth a few minutes of time.

I hope that I don't get hooked on this feeling and yes I can feel my jaw more relaxed actually.  Because my neighbor dentist who did it told me she has a lot of clients who come in regularly every 3 months for their shot. It happens very regularly because you get used to the relaxed muscles.  

I know this sounds ridiculous to get botox and spend so much.  But it's a trial.  Let's see how it feels in 3 months. 

Now because of square and everything else everywhere you go and everything you buy has a tipping. You can be buying clothes or a small items at a store and it goes to a tipping screen.  Enough already.  I'm annoyed.  I want to tell square stop.  Can you tell owners how to select no tipping.  Or are we expected to tip for literally everything?

It appears that now we are expected to supplement people's wages 100% .  That anything you buy you need to tip.  I'm really annoyed by it.  I get that the owners use square and clover because it's cheaper. I'm a small business owner now but I am still annoyed by the fact that everything is tipping.  And it's tipping on every single thing.  How much longer until we go to grocery store and have to pass over the tipping screen?

I just am so done with tipping. Even in restaurants I just want either a set fee or added into the cost.  I prefer it.  It's way easier.  Last night we had dinner with DH's cousin.  They took us out and I pointed out it was already added a mandatory 18%.  She loved it.  Didn't have to feel cheap or decide what to tip. The decision out of hand.  Service was okay, but way eaiser to just have it there and not worry about it.  Yep stellar work won't get you more.  But maybe they should just pay people more.

I'm still frustrated over this minimum wage not being tied to inflation.  How is it fair to pay people $7.20 minimum wage and not tie it to inflation like SS and medicare and then never argue about it again.

I have 2 0% credit cards right now, one I put on my A/C and the other I just put property taxes on.  I have until Feb and March 2023 to pay them off.  

Blue Amex 0% March 2023 $6041 - paid $2k today , $4041 balance

Wells Fargo 0% Feb 2023 $18,864 - paid $2k today, $16,864 balance

Today I paid another $1500 to the WF bringing the balance down to $15,364.

My goal was to pay $4k by August.  I have $2500 left.  DH gets paid on 6/29 as our 3 payment month so we've been super lucky.  That extra payment means we could pay $6500 to debt.  But right now our sink fund is $400, but I know I have $4k owed in August.  So I'm debtating keeping that in our sink fund and then paying off with 7/13 paycheck $3000 goes to debt.  I think that would work.  

Either way this month we hae paid off $5500 in debt above the minimums.  Seeing us owing still $15k een at 0% is a bit scary.

So I managed to snag a quick phone call with my dad.  We see him tomorrow so my parents were busy prepping the house.  So I figured he'll get his card and I have no idea about the gift.  

DH got nothing for father's day but a hugely relaxing day of sleeping in.  We didn't even go out to eat.  We had so many leftovers from stuff we finished it and I promised him dinner Monday.  Monday I picked up sushi and he didn't even have to leave the house again along with the kids.  My suspicion is that it was fabulous for him to work and not even leave.  

Happy father's day out there to all the wonderful men enjoying their families.  Reading about how many people miss their dads, I tear up hoping I have a few more years with mine.  

Last month my dad fell and fortunately did not break anything.  But it seemed like it was a sign that he's deteriorating fast.  I should not be upset he's 91 years old.  But I think that because of his age I feel like he's going to live forever and perhaps that's the wrong thing to think.  It's incredible that you blink and realize that your parents have aged but how is it possible?  

Yet on zoom with my in-laws whome we haven't seen in person in 3 years said our DK1 looked really old.  And I realized that my tween was 9 the last time they saw her.  My in-laws don't seem older but I'm sure in person I might have a different opinion. I hope that we see them this summer.

I have 2 0% credit cards right now, one I put on my A/C and the other I just put property taxes on.  I have until Feb and March 2023 to pay them off.  

Blue Amex 0% March 2023 $6041 - paid $2k today , $4041 balance

Wells Fargo 0% Feb 2023 $18,864 - paid $2k today, $16,864 balance

It's a lot more debt than I am hoping to carry.  I did use the DH's extra paycheck this month but basically it paid for our lawyer bills for setting up our will and trust.  That was $8800 paid for on a CC in full.  Everything else I've paid ahead basically.

Now how to pay off everything in 6 months?  I owe $20k in 6 months.  Ugh and yikes.  Our property assessed value went up 40% in 1 year from 2022 to 2023 so I'm a bit nervous about what that might do to our property taxes.  But I have $8k set aside for property taxes and auto insurance etc in August.  Guess I'll be posting on here to keep me honest.  I guess my goal will be paying off the $4k blue by august.

We've lost $300k on retirement alone and $100k on our taxable accounts.  We were very aggressively invested in our retirement accounts.  Say La Vie.  We have a long time until we retire.

We went to Las Vegas for the weekend and it was a lot of fun.  We had a great time with the kids.  While people don't think Las Vegas is kid friendly we found it to be.  It was a lot of fun.  We also spent a ton of money but that's what we chose to do. I think Vegas can be done cheaper especially the eating out and activities.

Prepaids $1668 for 4 flights, $1214 for Hotel, $1021 for O show, $253 Blue Man Group, and $688 for Go City Las Vegas Card = $4845 before we landed had been spent.  So not exactly cheap for a trip, but we were ready for fun.  I rented a car the first day so we could go to dinner, fremont experience and pick up friends from the airport.  That was $15 parking, $18.34 car rental ($40 free expedia point i had been trying to use), $8.50 gas, and $4 parking.  One day car rental then we used uber/lyft, taxi the rest of the time. 

We paid $171.97 for the rest of the days for uber including a $25 tip to the airport when the driver stopped and allowed us to grab our luggage from the hotel, drove to front, then loaded it, and waited for us to get it from bellhop.  He made the same as driving in tip.  He didn't have to but it was super nice of him.  We also tipped $5 to the maids daily in cash and a few other cash, so i'm unsure where the $120 in cash I had went (likely tips).  

The kids bought a necklace and MM and $10 games for $59.40.  That was the extent of our shopping except for some sunscreen and lotion from CVS.  We did only handcarry after all.  We also spent $5 gambling.  

Our biggest expense was eating out for $1914.37 for 6 days family of four.  That averages out to be $319/day.  Yikes.  I know we skewed it with a few fancier meals $362 morimotos (for adult couple only), $260 for Wynn Buffet dinner, $249 at hotel for drinks at cabana/pool, hotel.  So $1043 really for most meals I would guess $173/day for family of four sounds more in line. 

But the buffet (which wasn't great for the price and I am not a huge fan of buffets to begin with) the kids loved it. They had been asking about going to a buffet and on the last night we had a reservation at one of two open dinner buffets and they had a GREAT time.  They ate well (not the value of their $40 dinner) but they did try at least 1 new thing and surprised themselves by eating so many different varieties of food they normally wouldn't eat.  It was a lot of fun and we spent the full 2 hours eating and relaxing.  That day was ridiculous because we rented a cabana by the pool all day 9 am - 5 pm then uber to and from the wynn and sat and ate dinner and that was it.  The DH and kids had a blast.  Buffets are not good value and are not good food.  But they are fun and they are easy with a large group.  So you suck it up and go. 

Maybe I'll post some pictures.  We did a lot of touristy things with the kids like marvel station, linq zipline/high roller, helicopter ride over strip, bus tour, illuminarium, ny nyn roller coaster, excalibur 4d movie.  So overall the kids had a great time.  But it was not a cheap weekend.  $7705 all in for the family of four for 6 days.  And that is gambling with $5.  Had we been into gambling (mostly my DH, I wanted to but he kept saying no), then it would have cost us more.  But I have to say I loved it.  I liked the heat, the nightlife, the energy.  I can see why everyone from hawaii loves it and it's the 9th island.  Totally my cup of tea.  My family had a great time.  I think it could turn into an annual trip to seea a show, eat some buffet (yuck), and hang out.

Well retirement is down $140k and if it wasn't for our windfall I think we'd be substantially more. Probably in the ball park of $250k.  I have already had to talk to multiple friends and clients into staying invested and not being spooked.  And when asked I said I can see it dropping another 10-20%.

But what do you do?  Nothing. If it makes you nervous wrong asset allocation.  If you just leave it invested or invest more well then you know what type of person you are.  I am kicking myself for buying more amazon and google before their big drops. 

I invested all of our windfall.  A portion was put into a 10 month CD paying 1.1%.  That's to pay our taxes.  Then I dumped $150k into the 529s VOO this month.  Bad timing?  Probably and they will need it in 6 and 8 years.  But truthfully that's a long time to ride it out and I the only thing I could do is invest monthly.  But really just leaving it alone for the next 6 years.

Does it make sense to rebalance and put into more conservative investments?  Most people would but i am not.  Why?  Because here's the question someone asked me.  Will it matter what the balance is in 6 years?  Answer is NO.  I am paying for college no matter what so I might as well aggressively try to maximize our investment for college.  And what people don't realize is that you don't use all of it in 6 years, I will need it 6-9 years for one and 8-11 years.  So that's a long time to ride out the market.  Retirement is more iffy because we need to fill our buckets, but knows?

So I don't understand how people who have a family of four talk about how cheap it is to travel.  Okay maybe if we only used points for every plane ticket.  But how do you get so many tickets to travel every year if you aren't a big spender and no longer have work travel to help gain points?  I don't get it at all.  

We are planning on a 5 day trip to Las Vegas.  Tickets for the family will be $1669 roundtrip for 4.  Hotel will be $1215.  So before we step foot there we are out of pocket $2884.  So people who go for a week to europe or anywhere I always wonder how? I mean the only answer I have is that they get free hotels and free airfare because I can't seem to figure out how else to stay under $3k for a family of 4 on airline tickets.

That being said we  bought tickets to O for $1021 for the 4 fof us.  I'm also considering the go las vegas card for $900 for the 4 of us and it includes the blue man group, hoover dam (No one wants to do this with me) and a bunch of other activities.

I also just bought tickets to hawaii for our summer trip.  $588 for DK1 and DH, but his was using chase sapphire preferred points of 47,040 points.  I used a coupon and some discount codes we had for $614.73 for me and DK2 using a companion fare and codes.  So far we ar in for $1202.73.  Of course our lodging is covered mostly and we may go stay in a different city in hawaii for a few days so we will have hotel and rental car.  And of course I spend a lot on eating out and paying when we go so there is that.  But again How do you go for a week and spend $3k or less for a family of four when hotels are solidely $250-300/night other than free flights and hotels?

I also used our miles to fly to Canada this summer, unfortunately it's only booked 1 way so far to go to DH's cousins wedding.  We I need to figure out how to transfer more miles to use miles to fly back.  Although on a budget airlines the airline tickets are pretty cheap so maybe that would be worth it.  I also paid for 50% of the airbnb which I need to figure out if we are staying only there.

What are you thinking for travel?

So I am not a keeping up with the Jones person or else I wouldn't live where I live and drive what I drive.  I alsotruggle with spending money on stuff I deem unworthy (it is an individual thing and I am not a spendthrift, nor frugal but I try to be cognizant of my spending). 

That being said I got an email that "your DK2 has been taken off the wait-list for the sleepaway camp, please register by April 23rd, 2022 to hold your spot."  The camp is a 1 week sleepaway camp and it's expensive. It's $1500 for the week not to mention getting there and back (although I may not have to do it since friends are going...)

That being said I don't put the kids in much camp because I am home and usually not working.  We enjoy hanging out and travel a lot.  Plan this year is hawaii for 2 weeks, Canada for 2 weeks (family wedding) and potentially a road trip up and down the west coast with friends?  So we are busy. I signed my kiddos up for 1 week of girl scout camp because that's the one thing we do.  I also signed up for a half day paddleboarding camp.

But back to the sleepaway camp I didn't sign up for initially because it's expensive.  Realize only one of my kids is going so it's not like other friends whose spending $3000 - $4500 sending 2-3 kids so we are not parent vacationing solo. I still have my older one who won't go (autism).  So I was like I could spend $3k on our vacation.

I don't know if this is something worth doing or completely ridiculous.

The market has rebounded nicely in these past few weeks  We are down 10% in retirement and 20% in our taxable.  But then again we also got our unexpected stock sale so we made some money.  Here is what we did with it.

35.74% to 529

5.71% to spending

9.52% to I bonds

48.05% to taxable savings

the 5.71% spending I just threw into our emergency fund.  I am going to use to it spend a little extra. I also will probably cut back on savings for the year since we basically saved 95% of our windfall and 66% of income for the year.  I'm thinking I do want to spend the 5% i earmarked and not just save it. 

Things I bought already tickets to hamilton, Jack white, red hot chili pepper concerts this summer/fall.  Tickets to Las Vegas for a weekend trip.  Tickets to Hawaii for summer.  I also would like to do a few more weekend trips probably SF and maybe an october trip to Disneyland.  Some of this we would have paid for and the rest will be covered by this spending.  That plus not saving more than $16k more this year for Roth IRA and ESA contributions. 

I'll still be doing $2k/year to each kid for college until age 18 just because but I don't think I need to be doing more than that anymore.  Our kids will have college 100% paid for now and extra for a house downpayment, wedding, or car.   The taxable accounts I started will be for something else.  We have 6 figures in each 529+ESA and they are 12 and 9 plus another $50k in taxables for them.  But I will no longer stress out about affording the future. 

Everything else is for us.  I know we aren't obligated to help our kids with college. I know that we are not obligated to gift them with a hand out after college.  But I've always aspired to be able to pay 100% for college and be able to provide a house downpayment, car, and maybe even wedding.  I always wished to have been so fortunate and a little envious of people whose parents were able to help them.  I understand DH and I families were not in the situation to help us and now if anything we are about to start paying for my grandmother financially.  But since we are in such a fortunate position I am thankful for everything and going to take advantage of it.

So today we put down our beloved family friend.  He was not yet 6 years old, but he had had chronic medical conditions since we adopted him. He came to us in the fall of 2017 after we bought our house.  He was a little over a a year old and seemed fine.  We adopted him at a resecue event and fell in love.  He was a great dog.  Super smart and well behaved and just overall good.  Honestly the best dog we've ever had.  

About a month later the medical problems began.  It started with rushing him to the ER when blood was dripping out of his nose.  They told us he had immune mediated thrombocytopenia.  After that it was constant vet visits, no vaccines, titrating different medications to stabilize his health.  Eventually after a year we removed his spleen in massive surgery.  He had also these open wounds from the predisone he was one that we were unable to lower the dose.  Anyway last year he tore partially his back acl but there was nothing to do because he wouldn't heal from surgery.  The orthopedic surgeon even said it would be cruel so we just meandered along.  As the vet said he's had 9 lives.

It has been a very tough journey but good at the same time.  I definitely can say this time I know we'll get another dog.  Last time it was really hard,  This time it is hard but different.  This time I can say we miss having a dog. Last time I wasn't sure if we were going to recover enough to have another.  We had had that particular guy from 2005 to November 2016 and we had lost his partner in 2010 after having him from 2002.  So we had those two guys long before kids and I don't know why it was so hard to imagine having another dog after them.   

But this time I think our experience was so lovely that I can definitely see us adopting another dog.  See you at the rainbow bridge.

I have just finished our tax return for 2021.  Mostly it was waiting to see if there were any corrections for the 1099.  There wasn't but there has been in the past and usually it's Ameritrade and I wait until March 15th.  Anyway we filed and we owe $237.  Nice.  That the closest to $0 we have ever been. It's pretty nuts to be so close.  I also had to file the kiddos with their 1099B since I tax loss harvested in 2020 and then harvested some gains in 2021. 

I find it intersting how all over the place we've always been. You'd think we'd be more predictable since I do taxes for a living.  But there is always something so this is awesome that we are so close.  I would prefer to be plus or minus $500 every year.  But we've seemed to either a lot like four figures or get back four figures and I'm not usually happy either way.

How did your taxes turn out?