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Archive for November, 2019

girl scout problem

November 22nd, 2019 at 02:26 pm

I've been feeling super guilty but I am right now trying to remove a girl from my GS troop. She's been in the troop for 2 years and this is the start of the 3rd year. The girls are in 4th grade. A lot has happened and I was asked to recreated a timeline for the district manager so that I can properly document and remove the girl. I am desperately trying to get her removed before our next event 12/6/19 but the DM is moving very slow. Here is a timeline summary I sent them.

November 2017 to June 2018
-the Girl E was difficult at most meetings
-mostly the ADHD and very hyper and difficult and often did not listen
-lied when asked questions

June 2018 - party at my house
-girl was disrespectful and refused to clean up or listen when asked to behave
-lied about taking a toy (not proven) because she said she brought toy over, not that it was one of my personal toys from my house. We had no idea what people brought over or not but my children said she took it and I think it unusual that people bring toys over so we'll let it slide.

November 2018
-incident with 2 other girls at meeting
-girls were not listening, running out of the room
-girls got into an altercation in my car which included unbuckling seatbelts and trying to hit each other in car while I was driving
-this lead me to have talk with entire troop and put all 3 girls on probation. Everyone in troop had to sign behavior agreement. All 3 girls were required to have parents at meetings and overnight
-the mother was going through a separation at home and often couldn't stay and said she had to pick up son and counseling.
- I gave her more flexibility than the other 2 moms because of the separation. THIS was a MISTAKE

May 2019 - Camp
-E went but had a hard time following directions.
-she did not want to do kapers (chores)
-she really didn't want to listen and sulked if the other girls did not want to do what she wanted
-she talked about being a bully and was glad of it. She said it's better to be picking on someone instead of being picked on.
-we discussed how this was inappropriate but she didn't seem to care

August 30th, 2019
-renewal for joining troop and mom decided last minute to join on last possible day. I was hoping to avoid them renewing

October 2019
-at an overnight of 4 girls she struggled to get along with the girls
-didn't listen again and got upset
-did better and didn't physically lash out but was angry
-still having some trouble at meetings but was getting better

November 15/16 2019
-lied about incidents at overnight
-Before the overnight her mom very honestly told me that they were only interested in carpooling if she could screen the kids in the car with E. Because E didn't like some of the girls in the troop. Yes I did accommodate this, however I don't think this was appropriate.
-Esaid she wasn't involved in anything.
-E and another girl pushed and trapped 3rd girl in the shower and turned it on. The 3rd girl told and other girl confirmed it.
-4th girl's notebook was stolen. Again I could not prove it but two girls said they saw E with the stolen notebook which was ripped up. So I did not make any accusations because I didn't see or catch her with it.

I feel a lot of guilt because I know she and her mom are having a rough go. But at the same time I feel like she's ruining the dynamic of the troop and causing friction with multiple other girls. I feel like I keep giving her chances to the detriment to the other kids. This makes the troop rules seem lax. I can't help but feel if I remove this girl then a lot of problems might ease.

Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I'm being too strict, or too tired. When I talked to two other troop leaders they both said if I feel that it's too much to deal with I'm a volunteer. I need to ask her to leave. I'm not paid to deal with her and the situation.

I'm not sure how this will wind up but I'll update it. If anyone wants to share how they've dealt with it.

If this were one of my kid's friends we just wouldn't see them again. Obviously it's not that simple. But I can't help but wonder in some ways isn't it the same thing? If you can't behave then people won't make playdates or want to play with you?

getting hearing aids

November 13th, 2019 at 07:07 pm

I had another hearing test and it was determined it was borderline. So they suggested hearing aids. Because of my insurance covering it 100% I am rushing forward with it before it probably changes January 1st. Typical because who knows what is going to be covered. I am hoping to finish this by the end of the year.

I will admit it's a bit annoying that medical plans always change every year. That you only know what will be that year but next year who knows?

spending 2020 money already

November 6th, 2019 at 08:00 pm

So today I booked girl scout camp for 1 week for DK in August 2020. $25 deposit each but the camp will be $500/each including transportation and 1 overnight. They are going with a couple of friends and their first overnight away from us. So we decided to go for it. If they hate it we won't send them away. Interestingly a lot of kids in our neighborhood went last year to sleep away camp for a week and a bunch are going this year. My DK1 is not willing to try it. I figure by the time she's going into 6th maybe?

I booked a cruise in Japan in June 2020 through costco on Princess. For the four of us it's $5356 including free gratuities, shipboard credit, and free upgrade. I think we are planning on using our miles for the flights. I did find a flight to return through Hawaii on Air Asia for $168 per person and return home for $260. So that is on the table. I'm also getting the marriott bonvoy credit card for $95 and 3 nights free I want book and hope to use for our trip. I'm going to budget $10k for the trip not including the miles for airfare.

We also have a couple weeks away for 3 nights each and ~$200 so we are spending $600 for hotels 2x and I'm going to guess $200 on food each day plus gas and parking. That takes care of our trips thus far and spending for 2020.

I also booked hawaii in Feb but I had miles for that so I guess it was $40 total in fees. I also stay with family and don't rent a car so for the 6 days I'm guessing we'll spend $200/day eating out (gotta treat the parents and family so maybe more).

I have one more October/Thanksgiving trip in 2020 to plan. I am hoping to go to southeast asia. I will be out of miles but I may have points from Chase sapphire reserve that I might use for some of it. I'm hoping to come in around $10k for that trip depending on how long we go for and where. Tickets will be the cost eater. I'm hoping to stay under $4k for the four of us which will likely decide where we go.

I'm curious if these miles and free nights work out.

2034...dum dum da....

November 4th, 2019 at 10:53 pm

DK2 will finish high school in 2030. Woah typing that makes it real. I believe she'll be done (fingers crossed) in 2034. DH will be 56 turning 57 and I'll be around 55 depending on graduation date.

We have 14.5 years until we are done. I am freaked out a bit reading that. Based on the rule of 7 we should be able to double our investments 2x over. Since in theory your investments double every 7 years. By that rule we'd have a ridiculous amount of money.

I guess I feel it going by in a blink because I believe I started blogging here and on my own website in 2005. So it's been 14 years or so and my how times have changed.

If I can figure it out I should put one of those countdown days. It might freak me out though to watch it. For many of you I'm sure you are also feeling the passage of time as I read your blogs and smile. I find incredibly interesting to see how people's live have changed sometimes very rapidly. To see how much has improved often times because of this site.

Anyway I was just musing about time.