It's thanksgiving and it's time to be thankful for everything we have. Yes I am frustrated with my parents. I'm frustrated on so many levels but I decided I have to let it go. I can't stop them from going out. I can't stop them from getting on a plane and going back and forth between islands of hawaii. I can't stop them from riding the bus. I can only say it is what it is and hope we make it out alive. I mean it makes me angry for my mom to say things like we'll "we're 90 and 69 year olds. We've lived a good life so if we are meant to die, we die." That's not the most positive thing I want to hear or think about but it's not worth arguing. Nor is it worth arguing about fake news.
I decided that I am pissed over my mom joining what I feel is a cult. That I'm perfectly fine with legitimate values different from myself. But watching fox news and spewing things that are completely fake news drives me crazy. I have a lot of friends who are "republicans" and don't watch fox news and can tell me the values they have. My mom - republican values of personal responsibility and the government doesn't get to tell me what to do. And of course the fake news of everything else. If she doesn't like it she pretends it's not real. Sigh. Again I have to "let it go." Sometimes you can't argue with crazy. For awhile there my mom told me that she heard covid wasn't real. Yeah I know. I don't know when this whole fake news will even if ever.
But I decided I need to bite my tongue and be thankful that they are healthy, we are healthy, and we stay that way. I had a mammogram last week my first. I was called on monday that I needed to come in for further testing. I had another mammogram and ultrasound on tuesday and luckily it's a benign cysts. I'm grateful they could fit me in the next day. I'm glad I'm healthy. I can definitely feel the lump they are talking about and I had been panicking. So it put into perspective. I can stay mad at my parents and think they are ridiculous. Or I can say it is what it is. At least they are healthy. At least my family is healthy.
And I'm thankful that we've made it through this year and i hope to get older each and every year. It certainly makes you appreciate everything you have. But it also makes you appreciate how slow life has gotten with covid. It makes you appreciate the idea that there is life outside of work. I know the worry of the lump made my DH realize he has to slow down and stop pedal to the metal. I don't believe he works so hard because of $$. The money he makes is a effect of him loving what he does. But he works that hard because I think he likes the accolades and accomplishment. That is a post for another day.
But face with our mortality? Faced with the idea of us not being perfect? It's hard. It is real. But I'm still thankful for everything I have. Now we have to make it through thanksgiving. DH's brother is visiting us and I'm nervous. I'm also flying to hawaii for Christmas and nervous. We'll see how that all goes.