LivingAlmostLarge's Personal Finance Blog

I am still in my gym conundrum and testing out gyms. But something I've noticed for a long time that women are wearing a lot of workout clothes outside of the gym. That leggings are the "norm". Okay I am terrible about fashion and absolutely have no fashion sense. But I try to not do anything atrocious.

I thought you weren't supposed to be wearing these exercise leggings outside of working out because they are rather clingy and sheer? That the words "camel toe" came about because of these leggings? Or that Lulu CEO got into trouble for saying his legging weren't sheer people were too fat. So no leggings because it shows off the fat.

So did I miss the memo? Is it becoming acceptable and the norm to run around in yoga/exercise pants? Or are we still supposed to only wear them if we wear tops that cover flashing people?

Don't get me wrong I find them very comfortable but I'm uncomfortable with the idea of flashing people.

My neighbor's house is for sale. Very nice place and I'm sure there will be a bidding war. She's selling it because they want to cash out their equity and move to a cheaper neighborhood with a longer commute. That way instead of having bought their house for $420k with 5% down payment, she can have a bigger home, longer commute but put down 20% or more down payment depending on how much they make on the sale of the home.

The problem? EVERYONE (not me) has been telling them to just buy more home. She said they are doing it because they aren't able to live on her husband's paycheck and are dependent for her to work and cover the bills. Her husband pointed out if they sell and buy with more money down they can live on one income and she doesn't have to work and can stay home with the kids if she wanted. She works part-time as a nurse and makes good money. She isn't sure if she wants to stay at home full time but is sure she wants to live on one income.

She was telling me and asking how the heck we were living with no income. I told her the truth. We saved a lot of money and live cheaply. We've always lived on one income and I think that it's the way to go in today's society.

She said that coworkers, family, even their parents suggest buying more house with the equity they are getting. No one is suggesting they "downsize" and move somewhere cheaper. But she feels that not having the pressure to work and knowing they can afford the car payments, student loans, and mortgage on just her husband's income would be huge. I agreed that is would be incredible to do it. I did say I hate long commutes, but I can see the enormous benefit of living on one income.

What astounded me was when she said they were doing this to "downsize"spending (I mean really I'm not sure most on this board would say they could afford their house in the first place having put down only 5%), makes financial sense. Yet people are encouraging them, friends, relatives, real estate agent, to upsize in price of the home and spend money. Keep the payment the same but go up since you have so much more to put down.

Seems logical but not when the budget was tight to begin with. I think people go a bit crazy with mortgages and student loans. I think that MANY people justify both a larger mortgage and large student loans as "good" debt and don't really look at the big picture. They don't see how tight it could make a budget. Or how it could be useful to try to stay within certain income parameters. People who care about you actually encourage in some ways overspending. $50k student loans? Sure you'll get a job. Housing at 35%? Sure your income will grow.

I find it astonishing because lenders approve the loans and your friends and family support the idea.

I am starting to think we preach financial responsibility. But if our own friends and family encourage "good" debt and stretching ourselves financially, how can people be financially responsible? How can you learn if everyone else is doing the same? Or egging you on?

Okay everyone talks about how to pick real estate and we touched on bad house in good neighborhood versus great house in bad. But what factors are involved? What's important in buying a house?

1. Condo versus house? Let's assume you can't afford a house in your chosen neighborhood but you can buy a condo. Which is it? Condo let's say is closer to work but house is farther way? How important is a commute?

2. If you did buy a condo what if you can't afford a 2 bd but only 1 bd?

3. If you could buy a house in your chosen neighborhood what if it were only 2 bedrooms instead of 3 bedrooms?

4. What if the house only has 1 bathroom? It also depends if there is a logical area to add a second bathroom. Or is a second bathroom unnecessary?

5. Do you buy a house in the "right" neighborhood but on a busy road? What if it's not in a neighborhood but a commuting traveled road?

6. Do you buy a home with a bad layout and not easily fixable due to constrained lot size?

7. Is it ever worth to buy a home fixed up or better to always buy a fixer?

8. Is it worth looking for a bigger lot with an older house or newer house on a smaller lot?

9. What about buying next to places likes a little strip mall or gas station? It's nice to have things but at the same time is it less desirable to be next to things?

I heard a quote from my old realtor. The time to buy a house and move up in size/price/location is during a recession. Yes you'll sell your house at a loss but you get a better deal. But the time to sell your house is during a boom. Then all the "negative" faults of your house, too small, one bathroom, busy road is more likely to be overlooked by the buyer and bought without question.

What do you think?

I don't watch much cable, I do watch television but only streaming. I've never watched any reality tv show. I sometimes catch the voice auditions but nothing else. I do admit to reading star, US weekly, in touch in line grocery shopping or target. That is really my secret shame (I love reading the trashy mags I don't know why).

But seriously I have to look up most reality tv stars and see what they were on and who they are. I never watched Keeping up with the Kardashians, but I have to ask "who watches that crap?" Why are they still on and around? All I ever see on msn or cnn or any news sites is Kanye West and Kim Kardashian story. And the stories about them are TERRIBLE.

They are terrible people no matter how much money they make and what they are worth. Prior to this lastest twitter spat, I thought, "they must be doing this for rating and money." Now I really think they have no idea what sort of horrible people they are and completely delusional. Worse yet is how our society worships them and allows them to be constantly covered. I cringed reading Kanye West was $53 million in debt and wondered how the hell did that happen? And then Kim K posts nude selfies and thinks it's great and wants adulation? I just wonder why people will get tired of them, I am praying soon.

When will we get rid of reality shows and these horrible people who become "reality tv stars?" Do you watch any of these shows?

So what is the struggle with dieting? Well the truth is it's hard to waste food. Before this "change" in lifestyle I would usually eat my kids leftovers. But then now I have to throw it away. I can keep some stuff, but today we went out to eat Froyo during "happy hour" and you get a cup for $2. So I got a cup for each kid and neither child finished. Since we were out I previously might have finished the leftovers but now I have to avoid all leftovers.

Some food when at home I can save. But otherwise it's not so easy. I find it difficult now because I'm eating very planned calories. So even at home it's hard. It's so easy to justify finishing off the leftovers instead of wasting them. But now I just can't.

Perhaps one day but something people never tell you is how not "wasting" food and being "frugal" can cause you to gain instead of losing weight.

Are we in a housing bubble? So here is some quick facts. Our neighbors are about to list their 4/2.5 bath, 2006 sq ft house for $630k. They think it'll go in a bidding war for much higher $650k+, they are probably right. They bought it in 2012 for $420k and have sunk in $50k probably. She said they only put down 5% and most people they knew were putting 5% or less down. So where are these tighter lending standards?

However the house next door to us also bought 7/2015 last year 4bd/2.5ba, 2006 sq ft for $571k. So in 8 months the same size house, same location, same condition has increased in $60k if not $80k more? That means it's increased 10.5% in 8 months. Right now since 2012 my neighbor's house has increase 50% in 4 years if not more with 10.5% coming in less than 8 months. This seems like a lot.

My neighbor is selling to cash out equity and put down 20% on their next house. Yes she said in 2012 they put down 5% and many people they know are putting down 5% or 0%. When apparently it's supposed to have gotten "tougher to qualify for mortgages." So let's assume people are putting 0% to make calculations easier.

At $400k @ 4% = $1910/month mortgage (they pay $2500 PITI we're going to use $600 TI/month), with a DTI 25% = $10k/month income or $120k.

Last year the PITI for $570k $2721 mortgage + $600 TI = $3321 PITI, with a DTI 25% = $13,284 ($160k gross salary).

Now at $630k = $3008 mortgage + $600 TI = $3608 PITI DTI 25% = $14,432/month ($173k gross salary).

If we go on the presumption that it will grow by the end of this year in 8 months 10% the cost of the same house will be $700k = $3342 mortgage + $600 TI = $3942/month PITI, DTI 25% = $15,768/month income ($189k gross income).

So I guess I can see how housing affordability can go from $120k combined income to $189k in 4 years but it seems like an awful lot be able to afford the same home. Incomes I doubt have grown that much. The needed income had to have risen 57.5% in 4 years to stay at the same level of affordability.

Either people are stretching more. Incomes have increased more. Or potentially we are in a bubble, but when will it pop? Or will it never pop and this is the new level of home prices for the area and it might just stay flat for 10 years until incomes catch up?

I think it might level off and not go much higher because I think incomes need to catch up. I believe it might not drop to 2012 prices, it might not drop at all, but it might stay steady until people are able to catch up affordability. Of course this assumes that nothing during this period causes people to lose income.

I'm nervous about buying. I'm also unsure how long to sit out of the housing market because it's nice to stay put and know your housing expenses. My DH is of the opinion that if you are ready to buy then buy. But what is nothing you like comes on? I wonder if we should maybe rent? Rents are not keeping up with home prices but it would mean moving.

What do you think is going to happen?

I forgot to mention that I'm doing the diet bet. I needed a kick in the butt to get back on track with eating right and exercise. UGH. I started on monday. Personally I've always struggled with eating right over exercising. I actually find it relaxing to carve out time to exercise. Even with kids I used to pay $80/month and go to the YMCA daily to work out with free childcare.

Right now I'm doing insanity at home but I don't find it as motivating as doing classes for a hour at the gym. I also find it harder to work out with the kids around though I do get up at 6 am before everyone and work out. I sort of like the routine of a gym and class so I'm thinking about joining a gym again. My DH is pushing yes because actually I'm one of those people who even use it on the weekend. I find I need the destressor.

Now to win this diet bet however I can't just workout and lose 10 lbs. I have to lose the weight and keep it off. I have all my baby weight I never loss from baby #1 (whose 6 now OMG!) I didn't gain with baby #2 but those 25 lbs well they are still around. Time to get serious about losing weight.

I started on Monday. Anyone else doing diet bet? Do you continually do kickstarter or do you move onto the transformer? Anyone win a maintainer?

Also I'm considering the 24hr fitness pass from costco for $649 for 24 months. Unfortunately it's a super sport club next to me so I have to buy the $649. If we lived elsewhere it would be $399 for 2 years and a much better price. But at $27/month I am thinking I might buy it because it works out to 1 class a week for $9 which is what people pay to work out at Barre, hot yoga, or pilates. But the childcare is $24.99/month 1 child and $19.99/month 2 kids. That would bring up the cost for 1 child to around $50/month or $6 a drop off. I'm debating whether it's worth the investment. What do you think?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/charles-koch-this-is-the-one-issue-where-bernie-sanders-is-right/2016/02/18/cdd2c228-d5c1-11e5-be55-2cc3c1e4b76b_story.html

I found this a very interesting article. One of the biggest republican donors Charles Koch acknowledge that the US political and economic society is rigged. It's the one thing he agrees with Bernie Sanders and yet he's part of the 1%. Probably more like the 0.1% actually. Yet here is talking about the fact that there is a lot of cronyism, control, dependency, poverty and the government isn't entirely to blame.

No it isn't. But this anger people are feeling is coming out. I was surprised my mom who is very liberal, said she was going to vote for donald trump when I was visiting her. I blinked twice. She said she hated all the corruption but didn't think Bernie Sanders could win. So she decided she'd pick donald trump because he's going to be different. He's not taking money from special interest and isn't beholden to anyone (unlike hillary). She said she may not like all his positions but at least he's not a politician.

Trust me I nearly fell off my chair. He's not my cup of tea. I'm not sure I could vote for him or Hillary. I don't know what I would do at that point, except I always said not voting means you can't complain. UGGH.

What are you going to do? Unless you think Trump isn't going to win the nomination. That could happen, but I think if he doesn't then I'd feel like again the establishment elite are rigging it.

A bit of a weary post. I have to say the bootcamp is a lot harder than my DH thought. He's greatly enjoying it, but at the same time it's a lot of work. He can easily see how working while doing this sort of studying can't happen. It is very expensive he realized that he's paying about $200/day to learn these skills so he's trying maximize the benefit.

I told him anyone doing this with him is probably there making huge sacrifices as well. Most have at least quit a job. Others have relocated to the area for the bootcamp but plan on moving back home. So they are renting apartments, bunking with family or friends, airbnb/VRBO. A couple of people with kids have had their parents move in with them. So of course everyone there is being very studious and taking advantage of every networking event and opportunity to learn from conferences. He's surprised by how seriously people are taking this course.

I hope he realizes how much effort I'm putting in as well. I get it now, I didn't get it before. That women who said they stayed at home to "support" their husbands. Previously when DH was working I "worked" like a paid childcare nanny watching the kids. But when he got home he'd help at least do the dishes, watch the kids, bathe them, and weekends have family time. Right now I'm doing it all from morning till night 7 days a week no weekends off. I never felt like I was doing everything, I felt like we each did our "jobs" then after hours we could split chores. Now I do all the dishes, laundry, kids, cleaning, etc. Weekends I take the kids out or he leaves to study and still make lunches, dinners, etc. I am with them from morning till night no breaks.

Four weeks in and I will say I am counting the weeks until my mom comes to visit in April for a bit of a break. I'm also a bit lonely with my DH sometimes working till past midnight at home but going to bed without time to connect. And just in general working later and missing dinner with me and the kids. Granted I'm busy with kids, sick dog, and just stuff around the house, but it is nice to talk to another adult. I'm just counting down the weeks. 8 more weeks and 6 more weeks till my mom visits.

Does this mean that we shouldn't make education free? Because paying for it makes one responsible? Not necessarily because I think it's still up to the parents to explain to any child the true cost of college. Because even if an 18 year old is paying 100% for college out of pocket, they may not truly be responsible enough to comprehend the consequences of borrowing $100k to go.

I mean I've meet people who graduated summa cum laude with $100k in debt and took school seriously. But when they started at a private university and got a degree in communications or teaching they didn't expect to make what they were making after going to a private university and working so hard. They weren't out partying or flunking out. It just happened what they picked didn't end up paying well.

But are we supposed to only go to college for degrees that pay? If so then we'll likely never have another k-12 teacher again, or social worker, or therapist, or any other non-profit skilled job. There are many careers where people don't make much money but still go to college for it. I'm not sure how to balance that paying for college.

It's been 4 weeks into the bootcamp. Things are getting into a routine. My DH was crawling up walls at the end of his sabbatical. I'm not sure he could deal with early retirement right now. But either way it's not in the card for us right now.

On financial news we are more in line these past two months with spending. I find our spending on gas since moving amazing. From September to February we spent $137, $203, $180, $180, $69, and $22 respectively! So I used to budget $350/month and last month we spent 10% of the budget. CRAZY. I am finding it insane.

Our grocery budget has been bad though since September it's been $1183, $608, $981, $1222, $637, and $749 respectively. I've been trying to stay around $800/month or $200/week which for a family of four seemed reasonable. It seems we have very drastic swings in spending. I think it might have to be stockpiling and sales.

But because we made a concerted effort to eat out less our grocery budget had to increase. We spent $197, $162, $224, $266, $185, $121 respectively again on eating out. My previous budget was probably closer to $300/month and our grocery budget was closer $600/month.

So even though we were mostly under budget these past few months we ran over with lots of Murphy's law moments and unexpected expenses. Mostly dog vet bills (OMG I think we're at $5k and we are done yet) and moving replacement of stuff. Also buying two new computers happened.

But overall things are progressing.

Happy Valentine's Day! We had a great steak dinner at home and are prepping to leave for vacation. We leave tomorrow morning and I'm almost packed.

Couple of thoughts I read that Kanye West is $53 million in personal debt. Is that even possible? I mean isn't he married to someone extremely wealthy and they make a fortune selling themselves on reality tv? Am I mistaken that I think I read they made $30 million last year alone? How can he be in debt? I mean yes they live lavishly but I thought they pretty much get everything free to "try" and sell for the merchant and they are constantly selling products? I wonder how that all ends? Bankruptcy?

RIP Justice Scalia. I hate to say it but it's a little ridiculous that the Republican party wants to wait a year to fill his position on the supreme court. They need to suck it up and accept the fact that he passed and let the nomination go through unless the person is completely horrible. If Obama is smart he'll nominate someone quickly that is already a judge that had a fast and smooth vetting previously. I wonder if he'd dare put another woman on the court? I know the front runner is the Indian judge but I wouldn't mind another woman.

Does moving hurt kids? Am I not giving my kids to make friends from kindergarten for life? I don't know. But right now I'd say no. The move for us has been good. Our DK2 won't remember where we lived and I can tell our DK1 has only vague memories of specific things that may not really stick.

Is it worth trying to stay put now that we've moved? That means buying a house in the same district. No. We moved and are renting to know the area. Where we are is good but we're not convinced this is the right area for us. The schools are good but the commuting isn't perfect. We knew that when we rented but areas we looked at didn't have anything available. And who knows what might be available when we start to look to buy.

We're not even sure we'll buy this year or rent another year We aren't even sure we'll stay put in this area, perhaps in 4 months a job offer too good to pass up will come along and we'll move again. That will likely mean renting another year and then buying.

Every step in this process we've explained to the kids what we are doing and why. Our DK1 understands we are renting this is not our house and we may not stay in the area. DK1 understands Dad is not working but trying to get a job. DK1 understands why we moved and is happy. Loves the area, misses snow but then was excited to see it when we visited the grandparents and went snowboarding.

I think that military families who move every 3 years probably have a better grasp of moving. I meet a lot of people who are terrified of uprooting their kids even within the same city. Once kindergarten has started they only want to find a house within the district. They feel it'd be too disruptive. People who just moved to the area feel constrained to buy once they've rented and pressured to buy within a year.

I think kids are more flexible than adults. I think it's us as adults that feel this pressure to "settle" down and give our kids what we perceive as stability. We also feel stressed over making new friends and having to develop new relationships.

Have you found it hard to move? I found it super easy without kids. I moved a lot. With kids it's more work but I haven't worried about uprooting the kids. I feel like we're on this adventure to find the place we belong together. It'll all click and we'll be happy. Have you moved often? Was it difficult?

I just read an article about a

math revolution going on in the US. Very cool and interesting. But the article bring us and points out a very interesting phenomenon. The gap between kids born to the educated and well off versus the rest of them.

Last year the US won the international math championships. But the kids who were on the team were grown through a "pedagogical ecosystem". Meaning they were developed by extracurricular math programs on the "rich coasts and tech meccas". These kids were born to STEM parents and given the opportunity to learn because their parents feel the education of public schools isn't satisfactory enough. The people doing this are also starting earlier and it was suggested that 48% of kids between 2003-2009 who wanted to go into STEM fields switched because they lacked substantive quantitative background to succeed. So basically parents are paying for their kids to get ahead of the game.

In fact it was noted in the US 8 to 1 is the ratio of rich kids versus poor kids becoming math whizzes. Also the gains in math mastery is coming from those who have money.

But as also suggested in the article STEM fields are the most well paid right now and likely future. So many kids do want to enter the field but aren't able to succeed. The article suggests success is being born to the right parents and zip code.

I wonder when we'll start to acknowledge this and realize the gap is getting wider in the US and the middle class disappearing?

I am annoyed I'll be honest with Gloria Steinam and Madeleine Albright. They are calling out all young women to support Hillary Clinton because of her gender. They suggest that women are going to hell for not supporting another woman. They also suggest that young millenial women are supporting Bernie to get a boyfriend.

I don't get it. I thought feminism is the idea of supporting any woman's choice. The woman's right to choose. Like the idea that women can choose to stay at home instead of working, even though boomer women and older struggled for equality. They believe that young women don't appreciate it.

We do. But maybe the idea is that Hillary isn't the candidate meant to be the first president. Who knows. But why aren't Albright and Steinam criticizing the conservative women for not voting for Carly Fiorina? Because she couldn't win? Or because they are liberal? So only liberal woman have to support a woman for gender but conservatives get a pass?

Yes I'm annoyed women get paid less than men. Yes I think there is gender discrimination. But trying to guilt people into voting by gender seems like a worse idea. Do these older women realize they are treating younger women exactly the same they were treated? Do they realize that women fought for the ability to make their own decision instead of listening to father/husband? And now they want women to "fall" into line again?

So much for feminism if all what it means is to fall into line what is deemed "acceptable" instead of getting to choose what you want.

I watched online segments of the Republican debate. I found it interesting. I am curious do most people support the idea of de-linking health insurance with jobs? Are conservatives and republicans for this idea or do most people want to preserve their employer provided health insurance?

Obamacare is actually a republican health policy idea started by republican conservatives in 90s in response to Hillarycare. Personally I would prefer socialized medicine. I like the premise of pre-existing conditions not influencing insurance. Obamacare is the idea that everyone has insurance. We already have single payer insurance in the US it's called Medicare. And no one appears willing to give it up. So I'm wondering if that's the case why are people against single payer over everyone?

I'm very curious and willing to give de-linking health insurance a try. I think we should do it for a 4 year stint and see what happens. Personally I think that the divide between the rich, middle, and poor will become cavernous and people will realize those who can afford health care will receive superior care to those who cannot afford to pay. I also believe that quality of life will fall a lot. That crime and people in poverty will increase tremendously.

Why? We currently pay $700/month for insurance HDHP plan with a $6500 individual, $13k family deductible health plan. This is basically only to prevent BK situations, but everything else we're footing the bill. Previously we were paying $120/month biweekly or about $130/month for a PPO plan provided by DH's company with $20 co-pays.

Now they claimed the benefit was $20k/year for a family, since we paid 10% or so of the premium. Now will the company give us a $20k/raise? I have my doubts. But if they did it wouldn't cover moving to a HDHP unless of course they covered the deductible or a portion of it too. I suspect highly coveted employees and fields will have their premiums covered and deductibles into HSA, but the lower wage earners will not.

I think health care will entirely benefit those who can afford it. Can you pay cash? Then move to front of the line. After all if we were all on HDHP, wouldn't the question arise how are you paying for seeing the specialist? Can you pay in full?

Do you think we could move to a true capitalistic health system de-linked to employment and we all pay our way? Would it work? It would be a very interesting experiment. And one which I think would either supremely work and prove capitalism or flame out and prove healthcare can't be linked to money. Either way I think the US needs to try this out and determine if the value of a human healthcare can be priced. What an experiment.

My mom still hates the fact that I don't work. She keeps saying that I'll understand the plight of working parents when I go back to work. That caring for children is easy because a working parent comes home and cares for their child. When I point out I do exactly what a working parent does when they come home she said we'll they are tired from working all day. I point out that I'm basically an unpaid childcare provider/nanny. When I say "does that mean daycare providers/nannies/sitters are not working?" She has absolutely no response. She says they are but they are. So I say I'm just not paying someone else I'm paying myself to watch my kids. But that child care providers of children of any age are still working, perhaps not "high" paying jobs but they are working. And without them how would any parent go off to their job if they weren't paying someone else? She has no response except I have to go get a job and learn how hard it is to work then come home to parent. But she can't admit that child care providers aren't working though she says "you are working LAL."

She keeps saying "you don't understand what's it's like to "have" to work". I point out that I have met many SAHM/D who stay at home because they don't make enough to pay for childcare. They can't earn enough. Her response "they don't have good jobs". I point out to her there are many careers that don't pay well that people do because they like them and the world wouldn't run without them.

Probably the top "career" for women I've meet staying at home who went to college and liked their job? Teacher. Seriously teachers are very much underpaid and often by kid 2 can't afford daycare over the teaching salary. They liked teaching. I have to say most teachers must because it seems like a thankless job with parents expecting so much, schools expecting so much and such little pay. So they take a break, have kids, then go back.

But my mom till today, she never paid a penny of daycare, so she has no clue what it would feel like to try to make ends meet and not have entire paycheck. Or to calculate how much she really made after taxes and daycare. Or work overtime without free childcare. Don't get me wrong we weren't rich and certainly couldn't have made it without free childcare.

My grandmother didn't really work outside the home, except for a few years at a newpaper printing press after all her kids went to college. But then grandchildren came and instead of minimal salary she watched grandchildren for free so her kids could all work and keep their salaries. There were 3 of us born in 2 years May 1977 to May 1979. So 3 kids under 2 is a lot of work. She did it all. I don't think my mom fully understands what it must have been like. Looking back I have no idea how she did it to be honest. Don't get me wrong my mom paid back her parents as did her siblings, provided cars, housing, etc. But to have free childcare is something that can't be measured.

My point to my mom however has always been, that people who both work obviously they make enough to pay for minimally childcare, and usually have some extra to make it worthwhile to work. They might be able to pay for the dry cleaning, eating out, newer car, more vacations, etc. They have more money in lieu of one parent not working. Otherwise why are they working? If they can't make enough to cover childcare then they are working and going into debt to pay someone else to watch their child? Usually when I meet someone who is working for less than childcare it's because they need health insurance, but their partner makes enough to cover everything but health insurance.

I don't know if I can ever get my mom to understand this. Every word out of her mouth is "well if you work you could afford a lot more. You could buy a bigger house, new car, etc). My response was nope not going to buy more house than we can afford on 1 income. Not going to buy a car we couldn't buy on one income. She keeps saying you can take more risk. True. But the other truth is that no matter what I make my DH and I made a pledge we didn't want to be dependent on two incomes before we had kids back in 2005. We bought our house back then on his income alone and I don't think it was a bad choice. It made for tougher decisions but at the same time when we did go to one income it was without a change in lifestyle.

Perhaps instead of calling myself a stay at home mom I should title myself "private nanny." I'm not sure what I'd make where we live now, but where we used to live? I'd have made at least $50k/year plus gas and car use to watch 2 kids plus all expenses reimbursed. I'd also only work 40 hours and more would constitute either more vacation or more money since many friends ended up paying more because they had to pay for commuting time hourly on time of working time.

Or in home childcare provider? I wonder if it would legitimize my "job" caring for kids if I started to watch other kids? I think this is a sore spot for me because I'm trying to figure out how to get back into the workforce but at the same time I know what I don't want.

We cut the haven't had cable in 3 years. We've always paid a premium for internet because of it. In the sense that we've paid mostly for internet (fios previously and comcast now) sometimes without any extras usually running before $69 and then $79/month. Now it turned into $59.99 but it's internet and local channels.

So I've been thinking a lot about how over the last few years have we saved money? I mean people talk about all the time cutting cable and saving money. But when you pay for all the extras are you really saving money?

I know we are because we aren't paying for extras. But I was just running some numbers on paper and it appears that it really is quite expensive to be a cord cutter. How so?

Well we pay for Amazon prime because both kids have kindles that we use mostly for travel. You can download tv shows or movies and it's free with prime. Plus the free 2 day shipping is a huge bonus. So for $99/year we do it = $8.25/month.

Netflix is another $8.99/month. It's also going to be raised another $1 to $9.99/month. Then Hulu costs $7.99/month commercials to $11.99/month. Then for sling tv it's another $20/month. Also Sling offers kid channels for an extra $5/month. I mean if you are going ala carte and adding all these things or even Netflix and Sling TV you are looking at $34/month! Do Netflix and Amazon Prime and you are looking at $17/month minimally.

I'm not sure do most cord cutters only do Amazon Prime? Or only netflix? We do Amazon Prime but I find myself so annoyed that I have to watch so many TV shows on a computer screen or hook up my laptop to watch stuff like suits or law and order or big bang theory. I have a really old TV so no I don't have a smart tv or ability to put apps on the tv.

But if I were to pay for more streaming like sling, netflix, or hulu then at that point it'd be a no brainer personally to just pay for cable. I'm getting into cable prices. Right now I think it outrageous that we pay so much for internet, but the cable companies have cord cutters between a rock and a hard place. Plus I have to add our internet drops a lot and isn't always reliable. We had to argue with Comcast to install cables before we moved in. Prior tenants used satellite for a and paid a ludicrious $100/month for internet. Uggh.

Anyway I chatted with DH and we agreed as long as we're renting and locked in with comcast (hate them) we'll pay a premium for internet. If we happen to move maybe we'll have more options and different choices.

Do you have cable? Why or why? What do you pay?

I was reading the thread about a woman wanting to sell her diamond ring but not getting anything. Honestly I can say people can't tell the difference.

My grandparents were pretty poor. My grandmother's original wedding/engagement ring was super plain band. In later years she wore these two diamond rings neither of them real! But who would know? I certainly didn't until my mom said "oh those pieces of glass. My grandmother is 88 this year and lives with my aunt.

She's got a few pieces of jewelry. Nothing expensive or valuable. A few gold bracelets, jade pendants/bracelets, gold ring, and these two cubic zirconia rings. I want the cubic zirconia rings. I know they aren't real. And I know they are less valuable than the other stuff, but I would love to have them.

I can recall them since I was knee high playing with them and seeing her wear them everyday. She promised me them years ago, but with the situation we're in, she lives with an aunt of mine I am pretty sure I'll never see the rings again unless she gives them to me now before her death. I hope that she won't pass for another 10 years, but who knows.

It's hard to explain the sentimentality of the ring. It's not expensive but I love them. I think that people who focus on these expensive diamonds lose focus on the point of the ring or sentiment. The value is inconsequential but the charm.

I have a diamond not the most expensive quality and I never wear it (doesn't fit after kids). But it reminds me how much my DH struggled to buy it and where we came from and built together. I just might resize it so my kiddos can see it. Of course I might also be gifted one day with a huge fake diamond that my own grandkids remember me with. Maybe I'll just clean my grandmother's rings.

Do you have fake jewelry you wear? Or only real? Have you ever been faked out by a diamond you thought was real and it wasn't?

The most expensive diamond I've seen has been a friend who told me her 1 carat diamond was flawless and the jeweler who sold her the ring offered her $40k for it back. OMG. I nearly died.

Did I ever mention the craziest mortgage I ever had? I had a home equity line of credit as our first mortgage back in 2003. It was literally a free standing check book where we had to pay maybe $100/month just the interest on the balance of our HELOC. We owed at the time I think $130k and by paying it off with snowflakes by the time we sold in 2005 it was down to $120k. We used the flexible payments and low interest, the interest on the HELOC was floating and changed monthly. This allowed us to pay as much as we could on good months, and draw on the home equity on bad months.

Looking back I cannot believe the bank let us do this with no assets and no savings. All they had was the home. Insanity. Of course this in turn allowed us to gain equity and turn it into 20% on our next home. But it was a lot of risk and a lot of discipline to pay down our debt instead of taking advantage of spending the excess.

I say this because I was chatting with a realtor recently when I mentioned bubble and froth, he said that don't worry as long as you have a job you'll get approved with good credit. I said it was a bit overextending if we went any higher and his response, most people have no trouble refinancing and affording payments since rates are so low and the houses are appreciating 15% year over year. Um okay.

I said great thanks. I decided I'm getting more nervous buying a house and putting my neck on the chopping blog.

My bad habit is easily going out to eat. It's a vice I'm sure I share with many others around the world. Something I enjoy and find convenient. But is it a way of life even for people in debt? Is it something that people just do even if they can't afford?

Next week my DH starts his program and we were joking today about lunches, dinners, and eating out. Since we've meet he's pretty much always brown bagged it. I can honestly say probably 95% of the time both of us have always packed a lunch. When we've gone out to eat for lunch it's usually a planned meal with friends or some weird like a smashed glass container in lunch bag or accidental forgotten lunch bag (both things happened to my DH). So I can honestly say for 15 years and as he's made more money he hasn't changed his spending habits. What was necessity at 23 at 35 wasn't at all required.

Also for the most part until we had kids we enjoyed cooking dinner together at night and would turn on the TV and cook leisurely. We sometimes would sit in front of the tv and prep meals and just enjoy wine or beer. It was very pleasurable to eat out at hole in the wall places or nicer restaurants. But then we had kids and our meals became less cool (fancy meals from cookbooks) and more boring and standard and efficient.

So I ask if he's planning on packing a lunch and if so what. He said absolutely he's planning on brown bagging it, but he mentioned that on the group board for the program everyone discussing their favorite delivery programs and restaurants they want to order from. I suggest perhaps he may have to eat out to network dinners or lunches. He said he'll see.

But both of us are curious about the dynamics next week. This is a 13 week intensive program you can't hold down a job and do. Either the other 19 people are on sabbatical from work or not working. It's like that most have partners that are working and supporting them, but I imagine going down to one income and spending $16k on a course, then suddenly eating out lunch and dinner every day would still strain most budgets. Or maybe it was just a way of life.

I can easily imagine it costing us $35/week for lunches and $60/week for lunches. In 13 weeks that will cost us around $1300 which in the grand scheme of no income and $16k tuition a drop in the bucket. But as we are living off savings and it's half a month's rent. I wonder though will most be frugal and try to pack a lunch?

My DH said so I'm assuming $7/lunch how much is it for him to bring a lunch? I said $1 maybe. Am I wrong to throw together a sandwich? Or leftovers?

Have you calculated what lunches or packed dinners cost? I know if we spend say $800/month for groceries and my kids milk cost me $80/month at $175/week for groceries. A meal assuming 21 meals for 3 people (2 adults and 2 kids = 1 adult) = $2.77 a meal not discounting snacks or fruits. So by brown bagging it my DH is saving at least $5/meal if not more.

Do you think people who eating out every meal is a way of live have ever calculated it? Is it worth it?

Go bernie go! He's doing better than I thought he would in Iowa. Okay admittedly I'm very liberal and I like Bernie Sanders. I like Elizabeth Warren. I don't like Hillary Clinton and I certainly wouldn't vote for her because she's female. I don't know honestly if I can stomach voting for her even in the general election. Perhaps I'm on the extreme side of the party. Or maybe I'm just disgusted with politics in general.

Something this month got me wondering, especially now that Ted Cruz won Iowa and Donald Trump came in second. OMG. Ted Cruz I thought okay sure the guy knows how to be a politician and run a campaign. He's going to collect a lot of votes and is a solid contender. But until today I really wondered who the HELL would support Trump and what is the reason? Well he's got supporters and they are real. I was wondering if the polls were a bunch of crap (much like the polls saying Bernie had real support!)

Honestly I figured that Donald Trump was riding the wave of being a celebrity. Now I don't think so. Now I am starting to feel the Bern and believe there is a political revolution and revolt on our hands. I think that there are many liberals and conservatives who are disgusted by the system and want something different.

Much like any liberal supporting Bernie those supporting Trump don't want an establishment candidate and feel DC is corrupt. I am sort of getting excited at that prospect. Maybe there is some sort of change coming.

I'll be honest I couldn't vote for any of the Republican leading candidates, I could vote for Kasich if he were nominated. However I would be super excited to see something crazy like Bernie versus Trump or Cruz. I'd love to see the establishment politics tossed on it's backside and neither candidate have big money behind them owing everyone else. If it were one of those two against Bernie I'd like to see which way the US leans and I'd feel the average joe had spoken up so even if Trump or Cruz won I'd be okay.

Who do you support? Do you think they'll win? I am cheering as we speak for Bernie. I'd love him to give Hillary a tough race and WIN.

Yesterday we finally saw the new star wars the force awakens. A friend watched the kids and it was awesome to get out alone even if it was a movie. My DH loved how it felt like the original star wars and made the prequels look terrible. It was okay I thought. But neither of us are huge star wars fans, we're star trek fans and we both while looking forward to this summer's star trek movie, think it looks like fast and the furious 8 instead of star trek. We love the tv series and think it works better as a tv series. The new movies are good for being reboots but it lacks the substance of the tv shows and old movies. But star wars? Well it was good for a sequel.

I've come to the realization that where we live is awesome. LOL. I'll have seen my mom and family every two months since June. If we see her or them in April, we're going in 2 weeks in February for a week, then we'll have seen them every other month for a year. This makes the move even more delicious and ever to savor this feeling. Besides the gorgeous weather in "winter" it's 50 and sunny. I haven't even needed a winter coat or gloves or hat.

My DH starts his bootcamp in a week. He's super excited and ready to embark on a new career. I'm ready as well to have time solo and research the area more for us to potentially buy a home and really settle in. I'm ready to think about potential jobs as well. 2016 is turning into a fabulous year.

Now if only I could do a no spend month.

Last post I said avoidance is what I am practicing. I'm going to avoid looking at our investments for the year or until I need to. Everything is just being left alone.

But I've realized my DH and I time the market not deliberately but accidentally. We sold in 2005 at the peak in southern California and bought at the peak but it worked out. Southern California still hasn't recovered but where we were did go up. Now I think like the last bubble you won't be able to tell until you are able to look back at the market. Did we sell at a high point in the market at 2015? Who knows.

I do know the stock market did go down. I know we didn't invest any home equity because we might need it. So some timing is happening to us but it's not on our decision but rather circumstances. Twice we've not wanted to be loud distance landlords.

But this stock market downturn did cement the idea that you don't invest money you can't afford to lose or ride out staying invested. We used to invest most of our emergency fund and have only 2-3 months of cash. But before we moved we cashed in about 18 months cash and home equity. We decided the risk wasn't worth it. Turns out that was a good assumption

What do you think about the housing market? And the stick market?

Okay so I've been avoiding until today looking at our retirement and investment accounts. It's not pretty.

So our cash is down $30k but that was planned expenses for the past 5 months. We moved and budgeted around $5k/month with some unexpected expenses and moving costs covered. Very planned.

What was unplanned. Tanking of the market. Our retirement savings in June 2015 hit a peak of $575k. We are currently with our contributions ending in August (we maxed out the 401k) as of today at a balance of $496k. Now in October 30th, 2015 when I checked we were down from $575k to $562k. So we had a small hit. But in 3 months we've lost about $70k in our retirement accounts and that's without me moving a penny. I left everything as is and avoided looking at it until today.

I swallowed really hard right now writing this but I am staying the course. I have a diverse asset allocation of stocks all in retirement and our taxable account right now we had it mostly in cash/cd/bonds and it's around $10k down from October. With our cash heavy position from home equity and cash for living expenses we decided to leave our retirement alone.

I'm a little sickened but I'm staying strong and I'm going to ignore it. We weather 2007-2010 and I know there were years we were losing money after contributions and company matches but by contributing and not changing our allocation (cheap low cost funds) it turned out and began to pay big dividends.

I guess the only thing left to do is avoidance. Avoid watching and worrying and realize we aren't touching this money for another 20 years. We'll survive this and start pulling in big gains soon enough. Ugh.

How are you doing?

Yes they are fixing the car, not sure when it will be done, but it will be done. Of course it's not cheap and I am betting when they open the car up it might be more than $8k estimated repairs. But it does make my life and decision making easier right now. Right now we also have to replace both carseats. I'm really glad I don't have to worry about a new car for a bit.

Another thing is that we are still torn what do about the tuition. My DH leans to paying cash and using our home equity instead of a credit card. Well actually just spending down our cash cushion and tapping our home equity cash sitting in our checking account online if needed. It's earning 0.9%.

Decisions, decision.

So my DH's boot camp starts in 2 weeks. Guess the vacation had to end sometime. LOL. It'll be $16k for the bootcamp and he's put down $1k deposit. They do offer loans, but I'm wondering if instead of paying cash we should do a 0% balance transfer or 0% purchase on a credit card.

I'd like to contribute to a Roth IRA for 2015 (we held back because we hadn't qualified for a few years and had been doing back door Roth IRAs). But now we can contribute and we have until April 15th. This year we can do a direct contribution.

So $11k to 2015 Roth IRA is on the table, $15k for bootcamp and our cash in hand is $70k. I'd rather not cash out any taxable accounts right now but at the same time we don't have any incoming income. That could change in 12 weeks and is likely to do so, but I'm wondering if we shouldn't try to finance the bootcamp ourselves (i don't like the rate they are offer at 6%) and instead hold onto the cash until June?

I wish I had a crystal ball. We are discussing cashing out stock from our taxable account but it's losing money right now to put into our Roth IRA. I also don't believe we'll get a tax refund or owe like we usually do.

Our goal is to get these numbers finalized this week and rough draft of the taxes done.

Our neighbors that we aren't on best terms with are moving in June. How relaxing now. Now we don't have to avoid them as much. Bonus if we choose to rent longer we won't have to worry about the two kids being in class together next year. I know I said we'd rent but I hated the idea of my kiddo in class again with our neighbor's kid. This way we are set to not ride the bus or see them again after June. Say la vie! Bye bye to trouble.

In case I forgot to mention over the holidays my neighbor accused me of making her life difficult by reporting the incident between our children. She felt I should have come to talk to her about her son hitting my daughter on the bus instead of dealing with the school and transportation department. She was forced to do a ton of paperwork because of my reporting the issue. I don't know the repercussions but she said that "kids will be kids" and I shouldn't have overreacted. I should have come to let her deal with it.

Truth is that I reacted to seeing a kid hit my kid through the window of the bus. I didn't stop to think I should talk to his mom. I just went and talked to my kid and the school. Second I probably would have reported it anyway after talking with her since this was the second incident with her child. She obviously hadn't dealt with her child after the prior incident of drawing on my child's face. And no I did not tell her that, but I just told her I was sorry that she had a lot of trouble with the school and bus. But that I had done what I felt was in my child's best interest. I explained I was just following the rules and I understand that they are children.

Truth is that moving classrooms has been great for my kid. She mentioned when we said they were moving "great that neighbor S is moving. He's mean on the playground and I avoid him as much as possible." Say la vie.

Tonight my 5 (soon to be 6...counting down the days till monday) kiddo and I went and volunteered for the first time since moving. Before we moved we would volunteer at the food bank in town and we did an organization that threw birthday parties at shelters for kids. Well tonight we went to another shelter and helped host another birthday party for the kids at the shelter. I usually take my 3 year old but my DH suggested we check this out before committing regularly with my 3 year old.

It was a great party and my kiddo did AWESOME. I think she's matured a lot and really developed into a thoughtful kid. She understood why kids were there and really got into helping and running games and handing out gift bags. In the car we discussed how the children living were without homes and probably without money to have their own party like the one we're throwing for her. It really hit home and she asked if we could donate some of her money to the organization to buy cakes or ice cream (we donated the cake and ice cream this month). She earns money by doing chores and homework and knows she's getting some for her birthday.

I had a tear in my eye as I write this. I am sure everyone reading this understands how hard it is to be financially responsible. But how much harder it is to be a parent and raise a both a financially responsible child with empathy. To know that I'm trying to raise my kids with and understanding of how privileged and affluent we are. How we have so much more than so many others and that we are so fortunate. Trying to be "frugal" yet sharing what we have with those who have less.

It's a really delicate balancing act. Coming from a less privileged background I really worry about my kids having too much. That they'll just lose appreciation for anything.

Tonight really helped me feel proud. That I think perhaps I'm doing something right. A moment in the torture that is parenting.

I hate cars. I think cars are my krptonite. Got rear ended yesterday and thankfully I am fine, no one got hurt, but now my car is in the shop. Not only rear ended but rear ended into someone else. So I should say that I have damage on both ends.

The problem? Well yes insurance will cover. I may still have to pay my $500 deductible because I did damage the car ahead of me potentially. I also was hit by someone new to the country who was renting a car and no they don't have insurance. They had something called self-insurance form. So I'm crossing my fingers that the woman bought insurance from Avis. Otherwise who knows? My agent told me that they will collect for me being rear ended but I still hit the person in front whom I braked and had a handspan between our cars, hence why I went right into their trailer hitch!!!

Of course it's being called potential total. ie the value of the car will be worth less than the repairs. I hate that idea. I mean yes the car is worth probably $10-11k. But it's great and no way can I find another subaru outback with 72k miles in that condition. I am so pissed over the situation.

I know we were thinking in another year we'd get a different car potentially. But that was after we figured out more things about our lives. Third kid? Where we'd live, etc. We'd know if we wanted a minivan or a SUV with third row. If we didn't mind staying with same size. And no way can we buy the same car with same mileage and condition. UGGGH.

Who knows how this will unfold. Or how long it will take to resolve.

Are we in a recession and don't know it? A few of my friends have had close calls with their jobs. They've had layoffs and survived. One friend went back in the middle of maternity leave because her boss called her and told her layoffs were coming please come back so he could save her. She did and she was saved.

I feel like more than a few of my friends in different industries and different jobs have mentioned feeling insecure and looking or switching jobs. It's weird because gas prices are down but food prices are up. The housing market is supposedly still really "hot" but it's hard to tell with the seasonal market and if it hit a peak.

How is the economy where you are? How is the housing market?