Does moving hurt kids? Am I not giving my kids to make friends from kindergarten for life? I don't know. But right now I'd say no. The move for us has been good. Our DK2 won't remember where we lived and I can tell our DK1 has only vague memories of specific things that may not really stick.
Is it worth trying to stay put now that we've moved? That means buying a house in the same district. No. We moved and are renting to know the area. Where we are is good but we're not convinced this is the right area for us. The schools are good but the commuting isn't perfect. We knew that when we rented but areas we looked at didn't have anything available. And who knows what might be available when we start to look to buy.
We're not even sure we'll buy this year or rent another year We aren't even sure we'll stay put in this area, perhaps in 4 months a job offer too good to pass up will come along and we'll move again. That will likely mean renting another year and then buying.
Every step in this process we've explained to the kids what we are doing and why. Our DK1 understands we are renting this is not our house and we may not stay in the area. DK1 understands Dad is not working but trying to get a job. DK1 understands why we moved and is happy. Loves the area, misses snow but then was excited to see it when we visited the grandparents and went snowboarding.
I think that military families who move every 3 years probably have a better grasp of moving. I meet a lot of people who are terrified of uprooting their kids even within the same city. Once kindergarten has started they only want to find a house within the district. They feel it'd be too disruptive. People who just moved to the area feel constrained to buy once they've rented and pressured to buy within a year.
I think kids are more flexible than adults. I think it's us as adults that feel this pressure to "settle" down and give our kids what we perceive as stability. We also feel stressed over making new friends and having to develop new relationships.
Have you found it hard to move? I found it super easy without kids. I moved a lot. With kids it's more work but I haven't worried about uprooting the kids. I feel like we're on this adventure to find the place we belong together. It'll all click and we'll be happy. Have you moved often? Was it difficult?
Does moving hurt kids?
February 12th, 2016 at 05:39 pm
February 12th, 2016 at 06:46 pm 1455302814
It's hard on kids IF they don't have any clue what is going on. You are talking to your kids. We have been talking to our kids. I think likely easier on most kids when they are younger. But kids moving around in foster care...definitely bad.
Moving is a major life event and should not be diminished. I think an in town move, even if needing to change schools, is still far better and easier than moving to a whole new town. It's culture shock. EVERYTHING is different. I only found comfort in Target when we moved, because it was the only thing that seemed familiar (until I got to the checkout and cashiers weren't familiar).
I think you are in a transition right now. You'll find your roots once the job situation is clear. And those experiences moving now will help your children if you need to move further down the line.
I agree that kids are adaptable overall, but it is still a change that is can bring negative feelings. Acknowledging those feelings is key!!
February 12th, 2016 at 08:19 pm 1455308362
February 12th, 2016 at 08:31 pm 1455309094
February 13th, 2016 at 12:44 am 1455324263
I don't have children, but if I did, I would do everything in my power not to do that to my kids. It seems they already have enough challenges to deal with and I wouldn't want to add one more.
February 13th, 2016 at 02:09 am 1455329399
February 13th, 2016 at 10:05 pm 1455401157
Since everyone in our current city is always moving away, we really haven't built any roots here. So from an adult/adaptability standpoint I actually feel pretty *shrugs* about the idea of moving. I think we also feel like it probably doesn't matter quite so much to our kids as we initially thought it might. Since we've did one move once, so successfully, we have always talked about doing another lower cost move. Over time though it's evolved more that maybe we could actually afford to move back. & we have stopped considering moving out of state since being close to our family has become more important to us over time. I am open to whatever, but really only within a few hundred mile radius.
February 14th, 2016 at 07:02 am 1455433365