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Is your career your life?

December 8th, 2015 at 07:49 pm

DH is starting to gain traction on his career choice. He's getting started on his bootcamp in Febraury and is excited. He was called for an interview from Linkedin in his old career and he refused. It would have been a promotion doing what he did but he said he mentally turned a corner and that's what he did. Now is his chance to do something different.

As for me I'm still wavering on what I want to do with my life. But the depressing part? My mom. Last night she tells me I need to get a career and accomplish something with my life. That staying at home raising kids not enough. That she's embarrassed to say I stay at home and do "nothing" when people/friends ask. I need to use my degrees and become "someone" and make something of myself. What am I contributing to this world? Being a housewife isn't enough even if I can do it financially.

I don't know what to write. I am not sure I am that person who wants to have an accomplished career. My DH made a comment the other night "our resumes read like type A personalities, but we're not type A people." That statement is probably why we are together. Neither of us could be with people who have similar degrees from the schools we went to. Instead we're pretty content right now sitting at home doing nothing together but raise our children and hang out. I feel embarrassed right now and I know my DH does too (now) that we aren't ambitious enough.

I guess that's part of the hesitation. Do I go back and get a certificate to jump into something similar to my degree and get a full time job? Or is it acceptable to find a part-time job in retail and work just the hours the kids are in school? Perhaps the problem is that both of us want our life to focus on our life and making money/career is secondary. We work to earn money to live so our jobs aren't important. He wants his job to be fulfilling so when he's looking at job he's adamant he won't take one for the money. Rather he's interested in finding something he wants to do. I support this because I've always said we can make any amount of money work and my DH agrees.

But should we have more ambition? I mean if we lived elsewhere we could retire with more than Mr Money Mustache did. We aren't ready to do that. But in 5 years if DH is unhappy and we continue on our previous saving trajectory % and we have enough is it wrong to leave the career and do nothing again?

Do people love their careers? Or their spouses love their careers? Do you work to accomplish or contribute? Do you work to not be bored? Or is it about the money? Did paying off your debts change why you work?

Next step complete and update

December 4th, 2015 at 11:32 pm

So I said I would mention what has been going on. The dog is in chemotherapy and doing so-so. He's had quite a few treatments and not quite in remission. It is quite expensive. But he's in pretty good overall health. I think this will be our last holidays with him. It's hard to imagine life without a dog.

DH got into his boot camp program officially this week, it starts in February so it appears everything we'd planned is on track. We've hit all our goals for moving and spending and now the job appears to be on the horizon. If DH lands a job during the 12 week boot camp about 75% do within the 12 weeks and 98% do within 6 months of the bootcamp. So we'll see how it goes. But right now every target has been hit. I guess we'll see if we are people who know how to plan and hit goals or if we are gamblers.

We are looking into different options for buying a house as well. We are considering not doing a traditional mortgage but instead leveraging our assets and seeing if might secure a loan that. Friends of ours have done it and gotten a rate between 1-2%. Instead of paying 3-4% we could be looking at half the interest rate. This is something we are starting to research now though we don't have any plans to buy until the summer at the earliest. I've also been researching homes and areas more in depth. This is a slow process, I think I'll be using a redfin agent to get 1% cash back on the process. I've been trying to favorite homes so I can see if the market is still hot or cooling off.

Tips or ideas on real estate? We might also choose to rent another year if we can't find anything we like.

Career Change

November 2nd, 2015 at 05:23 pm

So my DH is making a career change and I hope to get back to work and do one as well. So my DH is getting nervous not because he's worried about the job prospects, actually he picked the HOTTEST field in the US to switch into. What field? Data Science. But he's curious as to what will he be paid. Three different websites say Data Scientist are the highest paid career track now [url=http://www.kdnuggets.com/2014/04/elusive-data-scientists-driving-high-salaries.html][/article 1], [url=http://www.wired.com/insights/2015/03/data-scientists-earning-salaries/][/ or 2].

But realistically he's very curious what is he going to make. One articles says it's averaging $118k which is less than what he made, we're actually budgeting $100k. But the other articles says north of $200k for master's level, foreign born male. Well he's foreign born with a science phd and mba and male in the west coast. So it'll be interesting to see.

What makes us the most nervous? We're wondering what's the possibility of getting a job outside of silicon valley? More expensive than NYC now SF has surpassed the cost of living of Manhattan. And even with two income we doubt we'd have a good quality of life. So we're hoping for something more.

As for me I'm torn. The field I'm looking to jump back into is project management. Another hot and growing field though not as well paid and more "Consulting" positions. The only thing I wrestle with is that it's full time and it's rare to find a part-time project management position. There is a 1 year certificate program near where we are for $5k that would tailor perfect with my background and give me an in for an entry level position. The starting salary would likely be around $50-60k if I had to guess with quick upside into the $100k-$120k price point. I do like the idea of going back to my old field but under different circumstances. I'm not sure I want to work full time however since my DH's job we're unsure what the work/life balance would be like.

Or my other option I look at is working at Costco or a Bank part-time. It'll be hopefully more flexible, at least less hours, and there is potential to move up and go full time when the kids are older. But I'd be starting in something completely different if they'll hire me.

Restarting our careers in our 30s is a tough prospect. Perhaps we should have more carefully planned our 20s better. Sigh. I never thought this would happen when I was picking a major in college or graduate school. I was a fool.

As for my kids I'm going to tell them to become a data scientist if they have any aptitude for it. I suspect both will have some aptitude for the math and science but we'll see. As long as they are happy. After all they have parents who are doing what makes us happy rather than money. If I had what made money I'd have been a dentist.

Have you guided your kids to certain careers? Or explained the career tracks?

And then the axe fell

October 21st, 2015 at 08:37 pm

So a few weeks ago the VP of my DH's old company got fired. Well technically he "resigned" because of a difference in opinion with management. But from everyone there he was canned for being a A#&(!)#! He walked into the building and was walking out by noon.

What does that have anything to do with us? Well today there was a massive layoff at my DH's old company. 12% of people are being let go by December but they were being informed today.

So it might have been nice to get unemployment and severance. If he were chosen. But my DH said it's better to not be there. Right after layoffs it's depressing to see everyone laid off being the "walking wounded." They are working until December before the layoff officially kicks in and severance and unemployement are claimed.

What would we have done? I don't know. But right now the market is terrible to sell and moving mid year I would not have enjoyed. In some ways my DH feels he came out ahead getting to leave on his own terms.

He's a little worried for friends who are losing their jobs but at the same time maybe they'll be better off. Certainly we ended up in a place unemployed but cheaper and a much happy place. Plus instead of a old, drafty townhouse we couldn't heat, we're in a newer, single family that is very comfortably insulated!

But it is a pretty depressing day for many friends.

Career Change?

September 11th, 2015 at 01:43 am

I really like where we live now and our neighbors are super nice people. Yesterday I had a very nice mom talking to me about going back to school and she said she was doing it because she wanted security for her kids.

She was in the restaurant/events planning business before and made good money. She would make around $80k she said being manager of restaurants or corporate event planning. But she gave that up after kids because the hours weren't condusive to having kids.

She loved what she did. Her husband is a head chef at a nice restaurant. She is going back to school to be an ultrasound tech but she's got 2 years of prerequisites but then 2 more years of the program. So at least 4-6 years she said. She wouldn't really be starting until her youngest was in kindergarten or 1st grade. She's in her 40s. She was debating is it worth going back to school?

She potentially thinks she could make $100k as an ultrasound technician. But she wonders is it worth doing all the schooling? Is it a wise investment? She thinks she'll get a lot of financial aid. So not much out of pocket.

But is the years of lost income worth it? I told her I'm not sure. But she should be sure she wants to be an ultrasound tech because worse case scenario is going back and not liking it. Then having wasted time and money.

What are people's thoughts on these sort of career changes?

A Crazy Day

March 12th, 2015 at 07:27 pm

I knew my DH had to be more lazy and obnoxious. Today there were layoffs at his company. 40% of his department. Many of his friends are saying good bye, but not him. DAMN IT! If he'd have gotten laid off we'd be moving yet again. It's like all these signs are saying stay. But let's reflect on the possibilities. They may still fire him next year when they let go of the rest of the department. But can we afford to wait? And will everyone else in his department start jumping ship?

Honestly this layoff was perfect. We would have moved this summer and put the house on next month and moved in June. My DH could have started a 12 week internship with 100% placement June 1st and been set with a job in the fall. He talked with them and is definitely qualified to make this job switch. NO I am not pressuring him. Actually he is taking online courses to learn python (programming) and R. This is to help with his transition and has been doing so since January. Long term he wants to transition to this career field.

Now it would have been perfect. Our DK1 is starting kindergarten in the fall so that would work out timing wise as well. Yes we would have rented and who knows what we would have gotten for our house, but it still would have been the best possibility for us.

Now what do we do? As I write this I have to wait another couple hours for my DH to get home and talk more. I am not sure whether we should just sell the house and prepare to move in September. I think that it's possible in September or October he'll do the 12 week intensive internship and leave his job in which case it would be in San Francisco or Seattle. This would mean that selling with the spring market would be the best situation for us.

Am I worried about not having a job? Absolutely and why the severance and unemployement would have been ideal for us. Besides the fact I think that we were hoping for unlike many of my DH's friends who don't want to move or get laid off. I wish he could have taken on of their spots. They wouldn't be worried about what happens after the severance and unemployment runs out. What if they can't find a job in the field and have to change careers?

This is a weird day. I don't know what the future holds but I think that we just have to keep on moving forward no matter what. If we move to SF it'll be hard, the money we have saved I'm not sure how long it will last. We've got over $100k in cash now, and if I can land a job then we'd likely be able to stretch indefinitely. My DH refuses to touch our home equity, that's to be rolled over into our next house. Seattle I know we can more likely live at least a year or more without jobs but a job again would help our cash cushion.

But now what? For those of you following my crazy posts thanks a lot. I know it seems bipolar but it really is this emotional and hard to keep it all inside.

Struggling here

November 10th, 2014 at 05:36 pm

I am struggling where I am. Not with the cleanse, not financially, but where I am mentally. My DH had a phone interview last night with a company on the West Coast. I feel so up and down at the same time. I am excited by the possibility, yet anxious that it'll be another disappointment.

I feel the strain of hoping, planning, and praying we move. I am torn by the fact I face another two winters where we live and I HATE it. I hate everything about it. I wonder if we shouldn't pull the trigger this coming summer 2015. I feel like our lives are on hold in so many ways.

I struggle because I don't want to tell people our crazy plan because it is nuts. We are going to dump our house, quit a good paying job, and move. I don't know where or what we are going to do.

I do know my DH is no longer desperate for a job. He wants to do a career change and is excited at the prospect. He's found a niche he'd like to get into and thinks it's a better fit for him.

But what do we do? Do we move without jobs to Seattle? Portland? Or go to the more expensive San Diego or San Francisco? When? I am struggling because financially we should stay put. But at the same time financially shouldn't we take the risk?

Health Insurance Follow up

June 23rd, 2014 at 05:27 pm

So Nika got me curious and I am trying to figure out our savings rate and time to FI. According to our w2 DH's employer pays $20,348.82 last year for our medical premiums We paid $2526 or 11% of the premiums. I had no idea our benefits were so expensive.

Some food photos. I need to get better at this.

Ribs and Strawberries we picked.

Angel food cake with our picked strawberries

Romaine with feta, strawberries, pecans, bell peppers, and greek dressing.

Secrets are killing me

June 22nd, 2014 at 02:12 am

I can't tell our friends in real life because it's too painful to hard we are struggling with trying to relocate and fail. It makes me feel ridiculous because they think I'm talking about a dream that will never happen. And even more stupid when my DH's been on interviews about 1x/year and nothings come of it. I think my friends think moving is a pipe dream for us. Something we talk about but never actually do.

So as you know we are doing it in 24 months. In June 2016 we are moving no matter what. But right now we are still looking at jobs. My DH had a phone interview 2x in the past week and a coffee interview this sunday. One position with a university and the other with a company. Neither are exactly what he wants. Academia has its own issues including pay and tenure or lack there of. Industry well the position pays extremely well more than double what he makes now but is a lot of traveling.

But like I said that's putting cart before horse. Get offer then see what our options are. See if they would even in person interview and make an actual offer. But it's hard not to dream or desire to move.

For me I'm also not telling friends I'm looking into doing something different for work. I'm sure I'll get a lot of "you should just go back to what you did" and keep it simple. But I don't want to. So I'm going to look further into being an enrolled agent.

Dinner was yummy. Fresh strawberries we picked today @ $3.50/lb. Fun time with kiddos. Smoked pork ribs with romaine salad with feta, croutons, strawberries, pecans, and corn. Also made angel food cake to go with strawberries.


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