Drum roll please.  My DK1 gets her license today.  Woot Woot!  I am so excited yet at the same time TERRIFIED.  I am scared and nervous all in one.  Anyone who has kids knows the feeling. It happens when you give birth and the world falls away from your feet and you are free falling into parenthood.  NOTHING and NO ONE can prepare you.  She turned 16 on sunday (my world changed in moments of a push).  The unreal feeling of a baby moving became real in an instant.  Your heart stops when you realize the dr says we need a vaccum or we're doing a c-section.  You panic and are desperate.  She was born in the middle of a snowstorm and there was a big snowstorm in the northeast this past weekend as well. 4 weeks early and she was gorgeous (not really but i was dazed and confused).  7 lbs at 4 weeks early!

Anyway that same sweet baby is driving today.  I am petrified.  I cannot believe it!  I blinked and suddenly we're on the 16th hole of 18 and the game is almost over.  

Anyway three weeks ago I started shopping for new auto, home, and umbrella insurance obviously.  I am about to add a teen driver.  So i started calling around to all the mass market chains and was told "we can't underwrite you,  you have no relationship wtih us." I was like but I've been with american family connect (costco) since 2019.  I have a clean driving record and no blemishes on our home and I have a $2m umbrella policy.

Well I talked to state farm, all state, progressive geico, liberty mutual.  They were all expensive to be expected but each one said well we don't write $5m umbrella for people we don't know.  Lesson number 1 have a relationship with a company who underwrites more.  Lesson 2 - use a broker because it turns out they can advocate for you and lean on their relationship with the insurance underwriter if they know you.

So though I had referrals of state farm and all state from friends I couldn't get more insurance coverage. I could get matching but what was the point? I was happy with am fam.  So I decided time to find a different broker and I went on FB groups and found people talking up their agents.

I contacted one agent (Broker A) who told me that we were underinsured (yeah i knew that) and told me they could do it Wedesdnay 1/14.  But they were going on vacation and we could chat in two weeks 1/28. But if I was nervous I could call their agency and discuss it.  I was stressing out so Tuesday (1/20) after MLK I called two more brokers and explained the situation.  I also called broker A company and ask they move me along.  A coworker said no problem for Broker A and that she would have it when she got back Monday 1/26.

Broker B got back to me the next day (wednesday 1/21)and told me I had a lot of touchpoints. My clue rating was 8 and i couldn't be underwritten easily.  I had to switch to him for a year with no claims and then he could shop me around. You can imagine this shot my stress through the roof. I was beside myself.  Realizing we were not exactly great risk analysis was stressful.  But he got me quotes from Safeco but at a lower more expensive level.

Broker C got back to me Friday 1/23 and told me they got someone to underwrite us could we answer a few more questions.  I did and then the quote came back that afternoon and we were underwritten for what I wanted for an expensive price but at the level i wanted. 

I touched base with the Broker A office who assure me she'd get backt o me on Monday with notes.  Monday came and no updating on the quotes which she said couldn't be done until 1/28 wedensday.  So last night I decided no more waiting and pushed forward with broker C. 

I'm not sure if rude but i felt under the gun. I really wanted to get everything sorted asap as my kid was driving today.  I was going to hold her off and still might for a day.  But the realization how expensive it was and how much i really wanted higher levels of coverage made it stressful.

I decided to go with broker C.  She made it happen fast and efficiently. I stayed with our old company for 7 years and I suspect we'll be permenantly with broker C.  She made it happen with the new company and I have no desire to really change.  I know maybe we could shop around but knowing what I know about us.  That we have "touchpoints" 8 to be exact in 5 years.  That we have a teen driver and are getting a second, I think I prefer staying with the known instead o the unknown.

Anyway moral of the story?  After a certain point it might be worth paying for a broker to help you instead of trying to do it yourself.

I started blogging 2014 but was on SA since 2006, so this my 20 year anniversary.  WOAH.  When I started I was newly married, student loans a boat load, i think we had over $100k, and no kids.  I'm said to myself when we have kids we're going to pay for 4 years of university at a public school in state.  Things change and it depends on the kid now.  So parents don't beat yourself up.  I am the the classic example of parent with curveballs!  In state and public is likely not to happen.  But that's a story for another day as you guys know.

The bigger, more fun story is my kids have $92k and $72k in their ESA.  They are in 10th and 8th grade respectively.  This is completely 100% in VOO, yep 1 etf.  Nothing else.  Just bought VOO every year boringly.  how much?  $2k/year limit has been the maximum. A  little over $160/month. I don't know if i'd be less if I did it monthly or more but either way it's just $2k/year.

$2k in 2010 was a lot when we were still struggling and watching the budget carefully.  And more in 2012 with 2 kids and $4k.  I have to admit as  I have been saving i've asked myself was I an idiot.  I wondered how much would it really add up in 18 years?  I had no idea it'd do so well. I was just hoping to start matching it and I figured I'd need $100k for 4 years at a public unversity in 2028.  I'm quite off for our flagship it would be $160k for 4 years now so about $40k/year.  

Yes it's not enough but if I had matched it into a 529 and I saved $2k/year in a 529 I would have almost $200k.  It's the fact that just saving a little bit $160/month could make the difference bewteen loans and no loans.

So in my posts I've definitely talked about flipping a switch or turning the page this year financially.  What that meant is I stopped worrying about the future and our savings and our finances.  I don't mean I am spending wildly but I just stopped tracking our spending and I stopped worrying about the savings rate.  I knew mentally in 2021 that we had sort of hit coast fire where we could just not save and be fine.  But mentally flipping that switch is really hard.  It still is.  Even now the idea of not saving into a 401k even though we don't need it just isn't in my DH and my DNA.  We just can't do it. To not contribute is not happening.

But the real flip of the switch?  Is realizing that I can stop pondering my spending.  It was the wealth ladder book and podcast that did it. I listened to Nick Magguli on lots of different podcasts starting with afford anything and it changed how I looked at money.  Growing up poor I am a super conservative person. I can't help it.  It's ingrained.  It's a hard habit to break.

But listening to the book I realized that I clung worrying about every penny instead of looking at the big picture.  What do I mean by that?  We were solidly in rung 4 of the wealth ladder this year and have been for awhile.  But i would have a bit of anxiety if I should shop at Safeway versus Kroger.  If I shouldn't shop around for the best price.  If I shouldn't not have a drink with dinner because that's not what you do. This was my own mental hangups.  But listening to the podcast/book I realized I didn't need to do this.  We were beyond that.  That it didn't matter these incremental spendings were within his 0.001% rule and he even categorized the rungs as rung 2 - grocery freedom, rung 3 - restaurant freedom, rung 4 - travel freedom, rung 5 - house freedom.

This caused a switch to flip and it stopped stressing me out. I stopped feeling anxious about not shopping at the absolute best deal and just went shopping. I stopped worrying about where we wanted to eat out and just ate out.  I didn't worry about getting "deals" as much or if I didn't maximize the "value".  It gave me a sense of peace I hadn't had until now.

The other part of the peace came from listening to something I knew instictively but it hadn't been said directly.  Rung 4 in the wealth ladder is $1m-$10m.  And Magguli said what got you to rung 4 won't get you to 5.  And most people never make it to rung 5 and are okay with it.  They don't see the value in striving to save and work years more to have $10m when difference between someone with say $2m and $10m isn't that much.  A nicer hotel, nicer seat on plane but you aren't flying private jets, you aren't buying any home you want.  You are incrementally have a nicer life but is the juice worth the squeeze?

I knew that mentally, and we've been working more just because of we have kids and the idea of not working and saving until they finish high school just seemed a reasonable goal.  But I realized we needed to really "enjoy" our spending now and no wait.  We might never get out of rung 4 but did it matter?  It didn't when we got there and I never expected to get to $10m, my number was always $3-5m.  But we just kept on amassing money but it gave me more anxiety.  More stress about being "prudent" and "careful" and "wise".  Doing the "right" thing.

Instead in 2025, the book, the switch, I realized we're fine.  We have enough.  We had hit our number and everything else now was gravy.  We were just flowing.  Why was I worried or everything thinking about saving?  We were truly coasting and I did not need to maximize my dollars and not only that but we could really "spend" our entire paycheck.  That we have been and were responsible all these years so we needed to relax, and know that the money coming in should also go out without fear. 

Then things changed again DH's company did well and we went above and beyond what I imagined for wealth.  Weirdly it almost seemed like I needed to flip the switch in my brain to be able to handle what was about to happen to us.  That I could handle this new norm for us.  That we had jumped brackets literally overnight.  That we were back to also making a lot of money. 

So this year has been a rollor coaster of events financially for us.  It also has been a big year for me mentally.  We are Financially independent fully.  We hit it ourselves by saving and investing.  But we also went to a new level and now I sit here considering how we can give back outside of ourselves.  I'm slowly researching ideas.  I'm also just giving more because we can.  Giving both to charity and those we know. It's a weird feeling

But 2025 was a pretty incredible year financially and emotionally. I had a bad 2024 and it wrung me dry.  2025 was supposed to be a year we regrouped and marched on.  Instead it was enlightening.