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the spending muscle

September 17th, 2025 at 07:51 am

tabs said of course people like spending money.  Yes and no.  It's hard to explain but when you live frugally your entire life it's really hard to change.  What do I mean?  When you are raised and it naturally fits your personality to be frugal you live that without seeing it as a hardship.

By nature I'm a saver and so is DH.  Our first instinct with our first job was to save the maximum and live on the rest.  Then we got bonuses and stocks and never touched them.  They went into our savings.  Then as our income increased we increased our life a little, but really not much.  our first 10 years working the life we had was just a little more spendy than the first 5 together as grad students.  Mostly we just bought a more expensive house.  Then we moved and bought a more expensive house, but the same saving habit continued.

The spending muscle needs to be exercised too.  When you hit the point where you will never spend more than you have saved.  We've crossed that point and i think many on here did too.  How?  It's the idea that you've managed carefully during the earlier harder times and now you have this natural instinct to save.  But it's time to spend.  It's time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. It's time to realize that you have been prudent and frugal.

But if you don't exercise the spending muscle you'll never be able to spend.  I still struggle with seeing i "only" save like 25%.  But now i'm like I'm okay saving 10%.  we crossed the line of enough and I still save because it's what you do.  But I could not save another penny and still be okay.  But it's hard to spend that extra money.  Suddenly you do have more since you aren't saving at the same rate as before.

7 Responses to “the spending muscle”

  1. mumof2 Says:
    1758279289

    I always remember my dad saying if something is 25% off you havent save 25% unless you bank that money...you have just paid less for it but its actually not a savings unless that 25% is actually saved in a bank/envelope etc (where ever you save your money)...that always stuck with me

  2. LivingAlmostLarge Says:
    1758324715

    LOL. My mom told me just put the money away before it hits and you'll never feel it. I've never felt the pain of saving. it was gone before it hit the checking account.

  3. Tabs Says:
    1758474587

    Oh my, I got mentioned? I’m internet-famous! Hi, mom!

    I do think, instinctively, people like spending money. That’s why terms like “retail therapy” exists. Kind of like eating. Most people like to eat. It’s eating healthy, or being financially responsible that is the hard part.

    However, I also see your point. There are those that are very used either eating healthy or being financially responsible. They are perhaps the lucky ones, because for them, the healthy habits are more intuitive. So you flex them, baby!

  4. rob62521 Says:
    1758484029

    I think you are correct that some folks do need to exercise that spending muscle here and there. I have a friend who was not only cheap, (not frugal, but definitely cheap), and he inherited a bunch of money besides his own savings and investments. He has a bungee cord holding his oven door shut because the stove came with the house and he doesn't want to spend the money on a new stove or even a new to him stove, although he cooks for himself. Same with anything else...he will never spend what he has and he never married or had children.

    Yup, Tabs, are you famous! Whoo hoo!

  5. LifeBalance Says:
    1758635252

    Tabs, you could do stand-up comedy!

  6. LivingAlmostLarge Says:
    1759168737

    totally but it's hard to spend

  7. ceejay74 Says:
    1759377885

    Yeah, it's been hard to stop scrutinizing/questioning everything the spouses spend, or having a hissy fit (sometimes internal, sometimes spilling out) about unexpected medical bills/expenses, or going for the cheapest possible flight/vacation cabin etc. I'm still finding the balance, because I was a chaotic spender before I had my "come to jesus" moment back in the early 2000s, and it's like having a hoarder mom and knowing that potential resides within me--I don't want to let go entirely and get us right back in the trouble we were in 20 years ago.

    I think you've always had the natural saving side of you, so there's less "danger." But also, I myself am nowhere near the person I was in my early 30s. I don't think I have to worry that I'll regress entirely just because I allow for more splurges and we carry some debt on a HELOC on a property that has loads of equity.

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