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grandmother's passing

September 17th, 2024 at 07:55 pm

A quick note that my grandmother passed peacefully sunday September 15th at 6 am. She was 96 years old and I was fortunate to have her in my life for 45 years.  To have so may years with dad and grandmother have been a blessing.  I find myself examining my life a bit more introspectively this year. 

I bought a ticket to hawaii for $296 one way to go on Tuesday Sept 10th at 7 am. I was on the flight at 8 am an hour later. I bought my return saturday 9/14 at 9 pm deciding to leave on Sun no matter what for $333 return.  This is less than I'll pay at Xmas for her memorial with the family I guarantee.

But the perspective was I happened to have one kid camping and only a high schooler at home.  This gave me a little more flexibility to go without worrying about the kids and DH.  I work for myself so I make my own hours.  But my mom was a little worried saying I could use her miles.  My answer?  Why?

Why?  I will not say this to my mom but I didn't plan or want to go back to hawaii until next summer.  And now writing this I feel I won't be back in 2026. I have no plans to return. I'm hoping instead my mom will see us.  As of right now I'm not sure the next time I'll be going back to hawaii after Xmas 2024.  Maybe 2028?  Maybe 2030?  I don't know.  The need to visit hawaii is minimal now that the people I've loved have passed and there is no reason to visit.  I feel untethered.  

So yes I could have looked at my ticket and cringed or looked at philosophically that when am I going again?  Will $600 break me?  Not at this time.  I have more money than time.  That paying that money to be recognized for a few moments and say good by we worth it.  That being able to have closure and support my mom was worth it.  

I rarely project my future savings because it never mattered before.  I always thought we save and live on what we end up with. I don't normally project 6% return or anything. I just shrug and say I do my best and I mostly bogelhead simplify it with VOO (SP 500).  I invest and leave it alone.  But I did project our future and am shocked at what I see. I also am a bit shocked that we've saved so much as well since I don't really look at it often.  Sort of like saving for college, 14 years ago I started and suddenly i'm like huh? I guess i'll need it soon.  And wow, it's grown a lot more than I was thinking.

So i've been spending money on stuff because I'm grabbing what time I have with the people left.  I don't sweat the small stuff anymore.  I figure when the kids ask for something I say yes. I don't sit at target and quibble over my $1 notebook versus $3 (yes it's hard to break frugality). I don't chase sales store to store, except when my kid needs 7 different color folders (OMG !)  instead i say sure get a new backpack every year and school supplies.  We've been so frugal for so long.  But the years are coming to a close and it's a shocker.

Time waits for no one.  And before you blink it's gone.

10 Responses to “grandmother's passing”

  1. Wink Says:
    1726615735

    LAL, My condolences to you and your family on your grandmother's passing.

  2. Carol B. Says:
    1726626129

    My sympathy. It's hard when the family losses begin. Yes,"grab your time with the people you have left"!

  3. mumof2 Says:
    1726652954

    condolences for you and your family...sound like she had a good long life

  4. VS_ozgirl Says:
    1726735139

    Sorry for your loss LAL, condolences to you and your family. Definitely sometimes things happen quickly and if you have the funds to do what needs to be done then why not? And if you have done well for yourselves financially it’s nice to occasionally take the foot off the pedal, not question the amounts you’re spending and just focus on life. Congratulations on being in a good place to be able to have the ability to do so.

  5. Petunia 100 Says:
    1726789280

    I think that your attitude is perfect; people are more important than dollars. I am so sorry that your Grandmother has passed. It is lovely that you were able to spend a little time with her at the end.

  6. Dido Says:
    1726799404

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were able to spend time with her before she passed. May her memory be a blessing--and create more memories with those you love while you can.

  7. Tabs Says:
    1726809772

    My condolences as well for your grandma.

    I also want to say good on you for taking the Boglehead approach to your investing.

  8. MonkeyMama Says:
    1726843671

    Sending condolences.

  9. PatientSaver Says:
    1726877899

    I'm sorry about your grandmother's passing.

  10. LivingAlmostLarge Says:
    1727135991

    Thank you. I am going back in December to hawaii for the memorial but we're all okay with it. I was the last person she woke up to see and say hi to. I'm going to hug myself over it. And yep it's been a really hard year.

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