I just peeked and saw the last time I posted was beginning of November. A lot has happened since then and I haven't been online much. I've been exhausted with everything.
I went to see my parents over Veteran's day weekend. My mom asked and I obliged. Thankfully I went home because my dad ended up in the ER that Sunday before I left from being impacted and in terrible pain. I managed to carry him into a wheelchair and into the car and to the ER. My mom couldn't have done it and they were in no way ready to have my dad be immobile. That weekend I managed to get a wheelchair ramp ordered, hospital bed, and internet installed. Fortunately my kids were off Friday for veterans day and they were all sick so they all stayed home and skipped all activities. I ended up staying to wednesday but my DH was desperate for me to come back, he was struggling with work and the kids. I depended on others to help me which is not how I usually do things.
Things have been a bit difficult since. I've pushed my mom to hire help and she has someone occasionally. She's exhausted and unwilling to consider someone to help at night. But we returned again this past weekend and I'm watching my dad all day as my mom went to the dr. He is pretty wheelchair bound and bedridden. And this past weekend before i got here Monday, again went to the hospital for the same thing.
We are staying through the new year. When I bought the tickets this summer I hemmed and hawed over the costs. If I returned before new years the ticket prices were substantially cheaper. But with the way the new year's fall it is ridiculously expensive until about the 1/4 and the kids and DH go back to work and school. So DH and DK1 are going back on 1/1 and DK2 and I are staying until 1/5. I am glad we're staying. Yes it's expensive but I told my friends i'm in the endgame.
I bought my tickets back for february without DH and the kids. They'll be off for a few days and DH can work from home and not worry about school or activities. The truth is that no matter what I pay now for tickets home or buying stuff this is short term. I am doubtful my dad will be here next holidays but I'd love to be wrong.
People hate suzy orman but she always tells called "people first then money." I always agreed but until now I never really lived or felt it. Now I feel like yes I need to be prudent, but at the same time I have spent my life being prudent. I have spent my life being frugal and watching every penny. But now I need to stop saving at the rate I've always saved at and spend it so that I can enjoy and help my parents at this end stage. It's not forever and it's not something that is a continually money drain. This is short term and something that will end.
I am grateful about our ability to cover these expenses. But I've really come a long way to realizing that money isn't everything. Saving and planning isn't everything. That sometimes goals fall the wayside and life happens because you can't control everything. I'm a planner, saver, and overal meticulous record keeper. I'm also naturally frugal. But in the position i'm in I can't do it all. And something has to give. To me it's money. I'll make more and if we have to work 2 months more then so be it.
December 21st, 2022 at 09:38 pm 1671658720
December 22nd, 2022 at 01:01 am 1671670913
December 22nd, 2022 at 01:47 pm 1671716849
December 22nd, 2022 at 04:12 pm 1671725539
I like Size Orman because she tells it like it is. And yes, people first then money. That doesn't mean we go crazy, but put our priorities right. Sounds like you are doing this. I know it is a challenge. You are a good child and being there for both of your parents. Bless you!
December 22nd, 2022 at 04:20 pm 1671726046
Recognizing that you are not working towards solving a problem but instead are working towards the end is a very important step to guide decision making.
I also found that deciding that my job wasn’t to make my mother happy, it was to keep her safe made me feel better about hard choices we made.
You are being given the gift of time to say what you need to say and ask what you want to ask. Make sure to savor that.
My mantra was ‘all you can do is all you can do. And all you can do is enough.’
Be kind and gentle to yourself, and let others lift you up.
December 22nd, 2022 at 04:33 pm 1671726786
December 23rd, 2022 at 04:32 pm 1671813170
December 24th, 2022 at 11:24 am 1671881059
December 25th, 2022 at 10:49 pm 1672008550
January 9th, 2023 at 01:41 am 1673228483