I just peeked and saw the last time I posted was beginning of November. A lot has happened since then and I haven't been online much. I've been exhausted with everything.
I went to see my parents over Veteran's day weekend. My mom asked and I obliged. Thankfully I went home because my dad ended up in the ER that Sunday before I left from being impacted and in terrible pain. I managed to carry him into a wheelchair and into the car and to the ER. My mom couldn't have done it and they were in no way ready to have my dad be immobile. That weekend I managed to get a wheelchair ramp ordered, hospital bed, and internet installed. Fortunately my kids were off Friday for veterans day and they were all sick so they all stayed home and skipped all activities. I ended up staying to wednesday but my DH was desperate for me to come back, he was struggling with work and the kids. I depended on others to help me which is not how I usually do things.
Things have been a bit difficult since. I've pushed my mom to hire help and she has someone occasionally. She's exhausted and unwilling to consider someone to help at night. But we returned again this past weekend and I'm watching my dad all day as my mom went to the dr. He is pretty wheelchair bound and bedridden. And this past weekend before i got here Monday, again went to the hospital for the same thing.
We are staying through the new year. When I bought the tickets this summer I hemmed and hawed over the costs. If I returned before new years the ticket prices were substantially cheaper. But with the way the new year's fall it is ridiculously expensive until about the 1/4 and the kids and DH go back to work and school. So DH and DK1 are going back on 1/1 and DK2 and I are staying until 1/5. I am glad we're staying. Yes it's expensive but I told my friends i'm in the endgame.
I bought my tickets back for february without DH and the kids. They'll be off for a few days and DH can work from home and not worry about school or activities. The truth is that no matter what I pay now for tickets home or buying stuff this is short term. I am doubtful my dad will be here next holidays but I'd love to be wrong.
People hate suzy orman but she always tells called "people first then money." I always agreed but until now I never really lived or felt it. Now I feel like yes I need to be prudent, but at the same time I have spent my life being prudent. I have spent my life being frugal and watching every penny. But now I need to stop saving at the rate I've always saved at and spend it so that I can enjoy and help my parents at this end stage. It's not forever and it's not something that is a continually money drain. This is short term and something that will end.
I am grateful about our ability to cover these expenses. But I've really come a long way to realizing that money isn't everything. Saving and planning isn't everything. That sometimes goals fall the wayside and life happens because you can't control everything. I'm a planner, saver, and overal meticulous record keeper. I'm also naturally frugal. But in the position i'm in I can't do it all. And something has to give. To me it's money. I'll make more and if we have to work 2 months more then so be it.