Something my DH and I are going back and forth with. Can money ruin kids? Will giving our children money or gifting them say free college, potentially a car, house down payment, or even a trust fund?
I get that if you have tons of money that it's okay. You can afford it. You can afford to do something without impacting your own future. That perhaps you are doing it to avoid future taxes. But should you? I asked that question because I hate the idea also of paying taxes.
But at the same time I worried does giving our kids so much mean that we might ruin them? Will they not learn the value of money? Will they assume that everything in life is easy? Will they expect everything in life asap because they never have to work for it?
Or do we have to force them to have skin in the game? Do we withhold everything and make them succeed on their own? Is it really necessary?
Has it been necessary for DH and I? We were super fortunate in everything. Everything has just broken our way. Yes we are super fortunate and lucky but we did also make our luck by taking calculated risks. But because we made some of our good fortune, we're honestly living the american dream.
We've turned a corner and now the starting point for our kids is just so much higher than what we had or expected. And because of it their starting line is so much further ahead. They are where so many people we know started. It's hard to explain but the help parents give children to start make such a big difference.
Imagine never having student loans, car loans, or saving for a house. Imagine not paying for vacations or saving for college for your own kids, or even saving for retirement. Imagine knowing that you can choose the career you want and live where you want because you aren't worried about money.
But knowing all of that does it ruin you? Does it prevent you from working as hard or being as ambitious, frugal, or savvy? DH and I had a date night last week and struggled with these questions.
We've hit a point where we might be able to do this for our kiddos. But should we is the question I raised? Right now truthfully I know my kids are going to be ridiculously well prepared. Even I give them nothing my mom has continually mentioned disinheriting me and giving it straight to my kids. So I know I probably am not getting her "house" but she's going to give the kids $200k each at a minimum. I'm not sure that's enough to ruin them but that's not everything either. But if DH and I give them more? Will it be ruinous?