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no gifts

December 17th, 2019 at 07:09 pm

So I run a Girl Scout troop and we are hosting friends and neighbors this weekend Saturday friends and Sunday Neighbors. I told my troop NO GIFTS. No Secret Santa. I didn't want to.

Then our friends and neighbors asked me the same thing and I shrieked again NO gifts. Not for me or the kids.

I recall in college my roommate and friends I looked them in the eye and said I don't want to do gifts. I have no money and I don't like it. So we ate dinner together and ENJOYED each other's company.

5 years ago we moved and the kids got a tree and we stopped going to hawaii. As of next year I think we are going back to flying to hawaii. UGH. That means gifts for the family. Right now I don't do it. I send gift cards and a card.

5 years ago I got the kids 5 gifts including a lego advent which I did again and Christmas pajamas. This year I did lego advent but no pajamas. I'm debating doing it. I got them 1 santa gift, 2 gifts from DH and stocking stuffers.

This year I picked up a blanket for DK 2 and DK1 got a book. I don't know I'm buying more.

I know I feel like a scrooge but seriously! I think my kids get a lot from my parents. I give them a couple of gifts and my siblings and BIL give them gifts UGGGHH (did I mention I send gift cards to my neices and nephews). Enough. I peaked at one of the gifts was a decorate your water bottle. Another was make your own jewelery. I don't want crap.

A friend said do me do I really have no presents under the tree? I said yes. And if anyone coming over has a gift for us I'm didn't buy them one. I am done. I don't' want to.

I started at 18 years old and I haven't changed. When I first had my kids with other friends I did the same thing. NO GIFTS.

Am I really that weird? Now it's not about the money But I honestly hate even shopping for teachers. I just shove a gift card and I make cookies or a pie.

Have you changed? This is in response to laura and her new traditions. I feel more like a scrooge but I haven't changed in 20+ years. I kind of like no gifts.

FWIW DH is going heli skiing and we are taking a ski trip over new years. We are also seeing cirque du soliel with my parents and we are doing an overnight at a fancy hotel I paid for. Plus we are going out to eat and hosting 3 christmas get together.

I don't feel like I'm cheaping out. I feel like I'm doing stuff that I enjoy rather than buy gifts. I admit that I buy what I want when I want it always. But that's not why I don't shop for Christmas. I just don't need more clothes and I already stress about the toys the kids have.

7 Responses to “no gifts”

  1. rob62521 Says:

    Personally, I think you are doing what is best for you. As a former teacher, I would really thank you if I had been a recipient of a gift card. How many apple things and mugs can one use?

    A number of years ago I told the brother-in-law and sister-in-law that we wouldn't be exchanging gifts. I was working on graduate school payments (I refused to get a loan) and shopping was not the thing I wanted to do with my little free time. We still gave to their son and my mom and hubby's mom. She was really upset over it because she really wanted nice stuff. I suggested she go out and spend what she would spend on us on herself. Of course part of that was selfish because she didn't spend hardly anything on us, but that's another story. A few years ago I said the same thing to another couple -- let's stop exchanging gifts. Every year it was getting more and more expensive. Yes, it was nice to get great things, but it was like they were always trying to outdo us on the gifts. I felt guilty. Plus, what do you buy someone who buys anything he or she wants?

    I think we've gotten away from the real meaning of Christmas. For Christians it is of course the birth of Jesus. For others, it is the joy of the season and enjoying each other. Remember in the original version of "Miracle on 34th Street" when Alfred tell Kris how commercialism is taking over the holiday? How true that is, especially today. I think you are wise.

  2. Wink Says:

    We decided to stop the gift giving last Christmas. There aren't any young children in our immediate family, and there really isn't anything that the adults need or want. I spend money on food, having my family over for dinner on Christmas Eve. We have a wonderful, stress free Christmas just enjoying each others company. Like rob62521 said above, you have to do what's best for you!

  3. mumof2 Says:

    I think you do what is right for you at christmas...our kids are in their 20's so whatever they want or need they buy themselves so they give me an idea of what they want so i can have a couple gifts under the tree and then give them money for the works for us...I hate stuff so I get the same thing each year from the hubby and kids which is fine by me....I loathe shopping!! but I do it all year so i get everything on sale...but we are more into if we buy for other people we do something they can my hairdresser (yes he is like family) we got him and his son a scavenger hunt to do during the christmas break...something they will remember but not have to have sitting around!!...but yes I think it is all about being commercialised not spending time together

  4. MonkeyMama Says:

    I haven't bought a single gift this year.

    We have never been big on the materialistic Christmas. But I Wasn't raised with that so it's always been a completely foreign concept to me, the consumer culture. I've clearly passed this on to my kids. Past age 10, they've not wanted anything for Christmas. My 14yo told me last week he disliked giving and getting material gifts, so he wanted to bake for his friends and family this year. I told him I thought that sounded perfect.

    We have been focusing more on charity and helping those less fortunate in recent years. Just passing along some of the windfalls we get this time of year. (Nothing we save up for or budget for). I expect when life settles down and we have some breathing room, we will focus on more traditions of this nature. This year, we haven't even put up a tree or bought a single gift. Which is a little extreme for even us, but it's just been one of those years. Life has been very demanding, so we haven't had the time or inclination to participate at all. (Mostly I've been sick, but MH usually does the tree/gifts. He's been covering for me and has a million other things going on. We talked about doing some decoration but at this point I wouldn't have any time. I only have two days off work, Sunday and Christmas Day, and those days will be spent with our families. So unless MH and the kids want to decorate the house without me, the boat has been missed). Literally the only thing on my Christmas To-Do list is to make a lot of online donations the weekend after Christmas.

  5. MonkeyMama Says:

    P.S. Re: Christmas To-Do List, I suppose I was planning to do some cooking/baking (treats) for my family on Christmas Day. Some quick and simple things that my family loves.

  6. Lucky Robin Says:

    We gradually whittled down who we buy for until it is very few people. Once SIL started having grandkids, we told her to spend her money on them and not us. The only people we give gifts to are our kids and my MIL. DH and I get a dollar amount and we buy our own stuff and say this is what you got me. My mom doesn't want to exchange crap and neither do my sisters. We have what we need and we have limited space.

  7. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    The only person I buy a gift for is my mom. 2 reasons - 1. She insists on giving me gifts; and 2, I think her love language is gift giving. It's usually something in the $15-20 range. I've been like this most of my adult life. The only time I'd do gifts for others was when I'd be at a relatives house for Christmas. Then it would consist of things like homemade soap or reusable grocery bags with their name painted on.

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