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My parents retirement plan

October 26th, 2016 at 05:19 pm

I want to strangle my mom. I love her and my parents have more than enough to retire on. But my mom doesn't it. She won't spend her money. I want to smack her so hard and tell her you can't die with it and I don't want it.

My mom is in the car with me as I'm prying out about her she feels she can't buy a house she wants. I say just buy the DAMN house. She says "oh we'd have to liquidate" and how will we afford it? I point out to her she gets SS, my dad gets SS, and she gets a pension.

Her monthly take home pay is says is $3k pension, $2k SS, Dad's SS $3k, and $1500 RMD from IRA because he's still working. She's retired and has been for 10 years and still contributing to a ROTH ira. They bring home at least $10k/month and my mom is still trying to save money.

I don't know what for. I wanted to strangle her. I said please buy a new car. Please buy a house you want or renovate it. Her car is a 20 year old Avalon that the A/C is broken in Hawaii but she just constantly refills coolant. She had a leaking roof for years because she couldn't pick a roof.

I wanted to shake her. I begged her to please stop saving. She looked me in the eye and said "oh it'll go to DK1 and DK2. You don't need it, but it's ridiculously frivilous to spend $10k/month".

I give up. I'm not even sure my mom realizes that they make more than the majority of the population. They are still earning income my dad is 86 today (happy birthday dad). They are only drawing on IRA because they have to. OMG. Why aren't they enjoying it?

This same mentality is why she tells me I have to work. The idea of actually spending what you saved for retirement seems crazy.

Do you savers plan on spending your retirement money? Or do you think when you get there you'll be living only off other stuff?

My thoughts has always been we'd draw on our retirement. I always had a plan to be done working by 50 and FI by 45. Looks completely on track, but my DH has mentioned more and more he'd prefer to work a bit longer he's not ready to jump off the hamster wheel. I get it he loves his job. But I like knowing we could.

But can working/saving become addicting? I feel like my parents have worried too much.

5 Responses to “My parents retirement plan”

  1. LuckyRobin Says:

    I will spend enough to be comfortable and have all of my needs met and one or two wants, but I doubt I'll ever spend lavishly just because I can. The habits are just so ingrained I can see how it might be a battle by the time I'm that old to even have the desire to spend. But I definitely wouldn't have a leaky roof or a non-functioning AC or heater in my car.

  2. Trying to get ahead Says:

    My thoughts are that they have been conditioning themselves for decades to save for the future to the point that it is hard for them to realize that their future (golden years) have already arrived and they can be less frugal. My mom is the same way.

  3. Carol Says:

    We are retired. We still are frugal, but we spend for living and for treats. (Car/trips) Fixing the roof and the car feels to me like "taking care of your stuff." It's tricky if you need more than SS for living, to make sure the savings will last, but figuring it out is doable.

  4. ceejay74 Says:

    I've been conditioning myself to live within my means for about 10 years now, but I can't say the urge to spend has gone away -- I've just gotten better at curbing it when the money isn't there to spend. I imagine we'll need to keep being -- I wouldn't call it "frugal," but less spendthrift than we'd otherwise be -- even after retirement. Who knows? I do think if I felt like I'd reached the magic number of retirement, I'd loosen the reins, but right now I feel like we're not putting enough aside, so I'm not sure the day will ever come. But I feel like I know exactly what I'd be spending more money on if I felt I could afford it -- namely travel and other experiences like dinner and music and theater dates.

  5. PatientSaver Says:

    It might take an objective third party financial "expert" to convince your parents they're in good shape.

    Because I don't want to wait longer than I have to, i've always intended to spend down my retirement assets; my only heirs will be a few nieces/nephews but I'm not setting about to save anything for anyone. But my home will remain behind, of course.

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