Yes. They certainly aren't cheap. Whether you work or stay at home there is a lot of lost opportunity cost in having children. Staying at home you've lost those years of income. Working? Well daycare might cost more than you make (yes I have friends working to keep skills up, not because they make more than daycare).
But otherwise? Yes. You are on a family medical plan instead of perhaps two individual plans covered by your employer. There are A LOT more dr visits because kids catch everything and parents catch everything from their kids. Kids are gross and disgusting.
Let's not forget college.
Can kids be done on the cheap? Sure, they can be relatively inexpensive. I breastfeed and used cloth diapers sometimes. Those are savings when they are babies.
But overall you are feeding, clothing, and needing more space as a family. Yes kids can share a room, but if you didn't have kids, would you even have a two bedroom place? I mean that most seriously since DH and I lived happily in 1 bd/studios with less than 500 sq ft and our dog.
I mean without kids we could live super small and super cheap. But kids do increase your cost of living. Without kids we would probably not live outside the city so we'd need 1 less car or no car. We could bike but with kids it's hard to bike to the grocery store or any errands, especially when they are young and always with you. We'd live in a tiny apartment. We would buy less food. And honestly we'd probably be able to retire by 40!
So people who talk about kids don't cost much have got to be kidding. Kids are substantially more than just diapers, formula, college, food, clothes. There are so many sneaky costs. Do I believe it costs $250k? Probably, I mean just rent alone where we are it's probably doubled from moving up apartment size. And yes I know people raise kids on very little money. But if you asked those same people how much kids costs? It's still probably the same proportion of their income as those who make 2x as much.
But the kids are worth it every penny, too bad they don't cost pennies.
Are kids expensive?
June 11th, 2014 at 02:16 am
June 11th, 2014 at 02:34 am 1402454050
It's all in what your priorities are. I had four kids and two dogs in 900 square feet. We saved money, paid that house off and saved a big enough down payment, moved onto our present 2700 square foot house had one more kid and more pets. Just wait til your kids get bigger and participate in expensive sports. Like Irish dance and club soccer, then add the cost of equipment, classes and travel (my daughter compete at the national level for Irish dance). So we continue to make choices and prioritize and still manage to get it done and save for retirement and college. For us, kids make the ride of life quite enjoyable.
June 11th, 2014 at 04:54 am 1402462461
In my own experience the childless couples I've known tend to spend more money than I do for my family, because they don't live a frugal lifestyle. And they wouldn't do it if they had kids either. Personally, if I didn't have kids, we'd be frugal in many areas anyway, but we would spend far more on travel and I know we'd go out to fancier restaurants.
June 11th, 2014 at 05:15 am 1402463718
The things that make me feel not as rich are diapers, formula and daycare. And like you said, if you used cloth, breastfed and were already a homemaker, those things wouldn't have much effect. Of course, with college costs crazy, I feel like as soon as I'm not paying for daycare I should start saving for college. But I'm not going to try and save up an entire 4 years for each kid; I think I can teach them how to use a responsible mix of loans, scholarships and working to offset the expense.
The other thing that makes me feel way different is the leisure/grownup time thing. I do carve out time, but it feels like stolen moments. I mean, of course I have leisure time with my kids, but being the person in charge, and not having a ton of choices about what we play/do, it doesn't feel much like leisure. But then again, that extra leisure time for my childless friends in many cases results in extra spending, so maybe it does balance out to some extent.
I think I have read that children are the biggest barrier to financial freedom, but I can't remember the details of the study. It might be all in how you look at it.