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What will you do?

August 8th, 2017 at 11:58 pm

DH and I were chit chatting in the car, seems like we always talk in the car. Probably because the kids are strapped in and can't distract us as much as in the house fighting. Maybe because we're trapped in two seats and not focused on our cell phones, cleaning, work, dealing with kids, cooking.

Anyway I asked him in 5 years at 45 or so would he retire if he could? I was running numbers and it's highly possible if not sooner. We could potentially do it now if we were willing to cut our lifestyle. But seriously 45 is not improbable.

His answer? "And do what? Why would I want to?" I said "follow your zen". His answer "I'm following my zen now. I spent a year finding my zen, moving with you, and finding my dream job. I don't need zen. I really like what I do. If I stop liking it I'll tell you again and we'll talk. Until then I'll work and be content."

I sat there stunned. Here i am on a savingadvice forum/blog, I read early retirement forums and blogs, and I'm not married to a spendthrift. I married a guy who wants to work.

He further goes on to say "LAL your dad is still working at 86! My dad is still consulting at 66. I am not sitting here at 45 doing nothing." I said "do something you like." DH "I am doing something I love. Who else plays video games pretty much all day everyday? Who gets to be a gamer and paid for it? If I had told 10 year old Mr LAL your job will be video games I'd have died laughing and kissed the ground." LAL says "okay when it stops being fun, quit." DH "okay deal."

So back to the drawing board. Seriously I don't know when or how I'll be dragging him away from work. We're about to embark tomorrow on a 3 week vacation, I'll try to post pictures but I won't have a computer just my phone so we'll see. First trip for DH in a year and he's not even sweating it. I'm dragging him away since he hates traveling. He'd rather stay at home and do nothing. Hence retirement is not his cup of tea in that sense. He doesn't want to travel and see the world.

Have you actually planned your retirement? And thought about what you would do?

11 Responses to “What will you do?”

  1. Out of the Dark Says:

    I don't believe I could ever completely retire. However, in about five years, I am going to have eliminated my debt either by payoff or sale (house/rental), sell off as many "doodads" as I can, apply at my local Lowes or Home Depot slooooow waaaaay dooooowwwwnnn....No more paperwork...no more travel...no more managerial responsibilities...no more qualifications or inspections....no more attention to detail that means life or death.....just stock the shelves, sweep the floors, smile a lot and do anything else my 20 year old boss tells me to do...with pleasure!

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    Right now I can't imagine a retirement that doesn't involve a structured activity, whether it's a paid job or a volunteer one. Since we're behind on savings, I assume it'll be the former and I'll just do something I love. I do love my job right now, so conceivably I could do contract/consulting in the same field if I manage to stay relevant.

    The only thing that would cause me to stop 100% and relax would be a disability that was too debilitating for work. At least that's how I feel right now, but maybe as I get older I'll start considering R&R as the ideal.

    Traveling, for sure, if I can afford it! But not traveling all the time or anything.

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    My husband now has a dream to travel, particularly in an RV. I don't much care about the RV, but would like to travel much more often, not necessarily full time. I do also want a home with a little land for gardening and just for the peace and quiet. The home doesn't need to be large. I expect my husband to be bored if he doesn't find a hobby!! He may need to find some sort of job, just to be busy.

  4. Petunia in a Flower Garden Says:

    Wow, what an amazing conversation!

    In some respects I lived my "retirement" early, by being a stay at home mom. I homeschooled Daisy and did volunteer work. Now that she has graduated I am doing some different volunteer work and looking at workforce reentry. For a lot of reasons I figure I that once I am back in the workforce I will be there until ill health forces me out.

  5. CB in the City Says:

    Of the men in my life, only my brother retired "early" -- at about age 60, and it was a difficult adjustment for him, even though he hated his job. Men seem to feel differently about work and freedom.

  6. snafu Says:

    DH loves his work. His doctoral dissertation was on Job Satisfaction; if the world operated on his terms, work would offer individuals some level of personal satisfaction. I can't imagine having to find ways to keep him busy and entertained.

    I'd love to have a 3rd go round with a RV, travelling on secondary highways, meeting others with different backgrounds, different life experiences and different viewpoints. The various regions of this country and yours are so totally different it's amazing the 'union' holds together.

  7. Carol Says:

    We are retired. I had been a stay at home mom before working for 25 years, so for me, I am plenty busy with volunteer work, 2 book groups, babysitting grands, and so on. My husband had a much harder time structuring his time; he has done local political volunteer work ( town committees etc.), church committees.He doesn't like house chores much do needs more to do and more people interavtion.

  8. disneysteve Says:

    I would retire tomorrow if I could. But I have plenty of non-work interests to keep me busy, things I'd like to spend more time doing that I can't do while working full time.

    For folks who live to work, I can understand why retiring doesn't appeal to them.

    I would do more volunteer work.
    I would travel more for sure.
    I would have time to take care of house stuff that gets neglected now.

    Since transitioning my job from office-based family practice to urgent care, my image of retirement has evolved. I used to think I would want to just cut ties and leave practice entirely when the time came. Now, I can easily see myself continuing to do urgent care on a part time or per diem basis for a lot longer than I used to think. That would certainly have a financial advantage since it would make our nest egg last a lot longer if I worked a bit and brought in 50-100K/year working 10-20 hours/week.

  9. rob62521 Says:

    My husband loved his job. He worked on the bookmobile for 35 years. However, things change. He wasn't planning on retiring at 62, but some things came up where he worked...an administrator who was a fiend, a boss who was a creep, and a coworker who drove him crazy. But these things changed his idea of work. He has stayed busy and volunteers and does things he wants to do. Before I retired, we planned trips and vacations, and activities. He at first said he didn't want to have any structure as a retiree, but after about a week, he said I was right, he needed it so we set up a flexible schedule for him. So, things may change and retirement may look just so much better in a few years.

  10. patientsaver Says:

    Yes, I think about it all the time. Nothing is cast in stone, but I envision part-time work from about age 60 to 65 or so, plus more volunteerism locally. I need some kind of structure and social outlets. I might join a gym. I want to join some clubs and become more involved. I used to say retirement is when I would adopt a dog, but I've sort of ruled that out now for numerous reasons. And of course, I want to travel more, here, there and everywhere.

    Northern Ireland and the former East Germany are on my bucket list, to visit my grandparents' ancestral hometowns.

    But if your husband doesn't want to retire early, does that bother you? I guess it could be an issue if you were thinking lots of travel together, but otherwise, you would still be free to do your own thing with money coming in. To me, that's a good thing.

  11. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    As soon as I can retire, I will! I see retirement as volunteering - animal shelter, local schools, etc. Maybe some traveling. On my terms and on my schedule.

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