We're in the midst of another road trip so we've been chatting a lot in the car. I'll post pictures if I can figure out how of cool stuff we see.
We're doing our due diligence and starting to focus on areas we'd like to live permanently. Right now DH works around 20 miles from work he'd like to cut it down to 10 miles. I'm all for him having a shorter commute that's in line with our values and lifestyle choices.
But he brought up potentially moving out of the suburbs and moving into the city. He would be within 3-5 miles of work, bikable/fast transit, one car family, convenience/urban and fun. Trade offs are smaller home, not a big deal, postage yard (big deal to me), lack of privacy, and not great schools potentially. So he suggests maybe private school instead for the kids? Something we've never really considered both being products of public schools.
So now I'm torn. Do we shorten his commute considerably and change our lifestyle drastically? Is it in line to be really close to work, 1 car, no yard, I don't mind a small house but hate having neighbors right there, and private school? Is this a lifestyle I want or does he? We're really struggling because this would be permanent.
I know it'd be cost efficient probably to buy a house in the city for less money potentially in a bad school district and do private school. We'd save on time and costs. But I'm really not sure I'd enjoy it.
I have been a huge proponent of living where you love. That people in HCOLA who shouldnt' live there or LCOLA not making much should live where they love. And now we're at that same point.
DH could love the commute and he likes walking to places. But at the same time we aren't sure about living so close to neighbors and doing private school. What happens if he loses his job? While other jobs are in the area and he'll likely find one in the same area we'll be on the hook for private school tuition no matter what. But many people pay for private school even in good school districts for different reasons. Would we consider private school anyway in the suburbs? We have neighbors and friends doing private school now.
I think I'm feeling more pressure because before we always felt we had flexibility and time to make a mistake and correct it. But now the kids are getting older and more settled and I don't want to keep on moving. This is just difficult because it really is a lifestyle decision.
More talking to commence. FWIW we've been looking at houses in the city and they are fine. The parks are cute and walkability is amazing.
Do you like where you live? Do you wish you lived in the city or suburbs or more rural? And do you do private school and why did you choose it?
Lifestyle choices
June 29th, 2016 at 03:04 pm
June 29th, 2016 at 03:27 pm 1467214051
I think if the only upside for you guys is the commute, then don't live in the city. Especially if you really don't want people all around you, and especially if you want a yard. Commutes can be managed. In my last three years of working, my commute took 3 hours a day, which I don't recommend to anyone, but I managed it because my goal was to retire here. Have you checked out mass transit? Much easier than driving, once you get used to it.
June 29th, 2016 at 04:33 pm 1467218015
You are now in another big life changing decision/ discussion time. You did a good job with your last one so you can figure it out, I'm sure. I forget how old your kids are, i.e. what grades? But for what it's worth...don't buy until he's had that job for at least a year. If you want to try the city, rent for a while esp. since kids are still young.
Around here( eastern Mass.) empty nesters are moving into the city when kids are off to coll eve. It goes way faster than you think. Good luck!
June 29th, 2016 at 05:06 pm 1467219978
June 30th, 2016 at 12:55 am 1467248146
I bought my house for the same reason and only about a quarter mile away from my previous apartment. While I may not stay at this job forever the house is 4 minutes to the freeway to Sacramento (about 15 minutes down the road). It was important to me that I would have a short commute after several years of 140 mile round trip 2+ hour commutes. I wanted a better quality of life that a short commute brings. It is a suburb of Sacramento and close to what I was looking for.
June 30th, 2016 at 05:03 am 1467263004
June 30th, 2016 at 02:06 pm 1467295566
We also were in a situation where we prefer to bike, walk, live in the city with no commute, but with kids, we had to compromise over the school issue. We found our compromise in an inner ring suburb close to downtown (the city grew around this suburb, which always remained independent) with a half acre yard. Hubby can still bike to the office, although it's about 5 miles. BUT, the kids and I can walk most places we need to go. There's a park with a bike path and a public library branch a few blocks away. We can walk to school, and in summer to the local pool/water park and to summer camp.
The grocery store is about 2 miles away and am conspiring to bike there for smaller trips once the kids are in school.
July 5th, 2016 at 06:54 pm 1467744894
However, i can understand that he may hate the drive. Could he work at home at least a day or two a week? I work at home 2x a week and it does wonders for me. I personally don't think that shortening the commute by itself is a good enough reason to make this kind of move unless you think you'd like living in a city environment.
I am also a privacy and yard person. My home is where I go to unwind, relax, rejuvenate. Not sure I could do that without having some sort of very private outdoor space.
July 8th, 2016 at 03:34 am 1467948841